After You Destroyed Me, I Chose to Live

Around graduation, Carissa had gushed to me about making progress with the guy she liked.

I kept pressing her for a name, but she hemmed and hawed, refusing to say.

Back then I assumed she was just being shy. Besides, she and Ray had never gotten along, so the thought never even crossed my mind.

When college acceptances came out, both of them missed their top choices and ended up at the same university.

Carissa appointed herself the guardian of my relationship with Ray, reporting his every move to me daily.

What he ate, what he did, who he talked to.

Whether any girls showed up on his social media, how many love letters he received, and how he coolly told every one of them that his girlfriend's name was Alice Garner.

She even told me what color underwear he was wearing on any given day.

I had been living inside the illusion the two of them built for me, grateful to have found two people who loved me so deeply.

Now, thinking it over, what kind of person pays that much attention to her best friend's boyfriend?

A dull ache pressed against my chest. My voice came out laced with venom.

“But what if the person hurting me is you?”

Carissa blinked, then laughed.

“Alice, what are you talking about? I would never hurt you.”

Any other time, I would have believed her.

But this time, I caught the flash of panic across her face.

My nose burned. I let the bitterness spill out.

“Sleeping with my man doesn't count as hurting me?”

“If you wanted him, you should have just said so.”

“Why did you have to do something so cheap and disgusting?”

She stared at me, stunned, then glanced at Ray standing in front of her. Her voice shook.

“Alice, listen to me, I didn't mean to……”

Rage tore through me before I could think, and by the time I registered what I'd done, her head had already snapped to the side from my slap.

“I don't want to hear it, you homewrecker!”

Ray rushed forward and shoved me hard by the shoulders.

“Alice, touch her again and see what happens!”

“Ray, why did you push her?!”

Carissa's eyes were rimmed red, her voice choked as she scolded him.

She hurried over to check on me.

“Alice, where did you fall? Let me see, okay?”

Ray grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, his tone dripping with frustration.

“Carissa, when are you going to start looking out for yourself?”

“She just hit you and you're still fussing over her?”

Carissa yanked her hand free, face full of fury.

“Shut up. You know Alice's health is fragile!”

“Did you really have to tell her all that today, of all days?”

“Ray, is there something wrong with your head?!”

I sat crumpled on the ground, watching the two of them fight over me.

The feeling was nothing like all those years before.

Back then, they fought for me.

Now, they fought because of me.

The scraped skin on my palm stung in waves, but it was nothing compared to one ten-thousandth of the pain in my chest.

I pulled myself up slowly, wiped the tears off my face, and turned to leave.

I barely made it a few steps before voices called out from the side.

“Alice? Long time no see!”

“Are you here for Ray and Carissa's marriage registration?”

“It's been years since graduation and the three of you are still so close. That's honestly so sweet.”

I looked up at the sound and recognized a few old classmates. Their words sank in slowly, and I frowned.

“What did you just say?”

“Come on, you still don't know? Ray and your best friend Carissa have been together forever.”

“I went to the storage room to grab something for a teacher once and walked in on them kissing. Ray even paid me five hundred bucks to keep my mouth shut.”