After You Destroyed Me, I Chose to Live

Valentine's Day. We were almost next in line at the courthouse when Ray Henson opened his mouth.

“The night of the graduation party, after the SATs? That was your best friend's first time, too.”

“You were exhausted from the first half of the night with me. She came to find me after you fell asleep. I couldn't stop myself.”

“She was in so much pain she almost cried, but she bit through her lip so you wouldn't hear and get hurt.”

I stood frozen, my hand drifting up to touch the white veil on my head.

That morning, before I left, Carissa had placed the handmade veil on me with tears in her eyes, wishing me a lifetime of happiness.

“And last night, when we told you the kitchen smelled too strong and you shouldn't come in? We were in there together.”

“At dinner, you saw how red her eyes were. You thought the cooking fumes got to her. You felt sorry for her for the rest of the meal.”

He held up the marriage registration papers as he spoke, his tone flat.

“Whether we go through with this or not, it's up to you.”

——

The couple ahead of us was finishing their paperwork. The couple behind us was deciding where to honeymoon.

And I was standing there, unable to move, all the blood in my body rushing to my skull, my ears ringing.

Carissa Butler was my best friend. When we were thirteen, a man followed her into an alley. I was the one who ran in after her.

I got stabbed six times. Three months in the hospital. Missed the SATs entirely.

Carissa chose to retake the year with me without a second of hesitation. She stayed by my side.

After that, we only grew closer. We treated each other like family.

I never imagined she would be the one to betray me.

A long time passed before I could raise my eyes to Ray. My voice came out scraped raw.

“Then why did you have to tell me now?”

Why, at the closest I had ever been to happiness, did he have to shatter everything.

Ray looked at my red-rimmed eyes and had the nerve to look relieved.

“Because I can't lose Carissa.”

“She said if I went through with this, she'd leave. For good. Never come back.”

“She said she couldn't be with me and keep thinking about you and feeling guilty.”

When he talked about Carissa, his whole expression softened with barely concealed tenderness and love.

Just days ago, he had been carefully picking out what to wear today, planning how to announce it online for everyone to see.

I teased him about it, and he pulled me into his arms, voice thick with emotion.

“Alice Garner, how could I not be happy? Marrying you has been my dream since I was a teenager.”

Now that the dream was about to come true, he was telling me he'd been with my best friend all along. Whether we registered or not was up to me.

I forced the corners of my mouth to move and stepped out of line without a word.

The moment I did, something flickered in Ray's eyes. Panic. His hand shot out and locked around my wrist.

“Alice, if you still want to register, I'll do it. I'll still go through with it.”

“I'll talk to Carissa afterward……”

I whipped around and tore the veil off my head, throwing it at him.

“Ray Henson, do you have any idea how disgusting you are?”

I didn't care who was watching. I ran for the door.

Tears blurred everything. My chest felt like it was being torn apart with bare hands.

And I ran straight into Carissa Butler, who was supposed to have left already.

The second she saw the tears on my face, she did what she always did. She pulled me behind her and turned on Ray, voice sharp with anger.

“What did you do? It's your registration day. Why is Alice sobbing like this?”

Then she turned back to me, her hand rising gently to wipe my tears, her voice as soft as it had always been.

“It's okay, Alice. Don't be scared. I'm here. No one's going to hurt you.”

But I could already see the red marks on her neck, and every few seconds I caught the scent of Ray's cologne on her skin, and the pressure in my chest was so suffocating I could barely breathe.