After You Destroyed Me, I Chose to Live

“Oh, and Ray changed his college application at the last minute so he could go to the same school as Carissa.”

“Those four years, the two of them were basically the golden couple on campus.”

She pulled up their joint account and showed it to me, the one where they'd documented their relationship.

“Look at this. Jealous yet? You should find someone of your own instead of being a third wheel all the time.”

Four years. Over a thousand posts.

Every video, every photo, the way they looked at each other only growing fonder with time.

All those important moments Ray had canceled on me, one after another, he'd been spending them with Carissa.

He kept her in the open, lavishing her with affection for the whole world to see.

And me? I was the one who didn't belong.

Something inside my chest tore wide open, and the pain was so fierce I couldn't breathe.

Back then, I'd been naive enough to believe Ray really had missed his target score, that it was just bad luck he didn't get into the same university as me.

But now, thinking back to the gap between our scores, he could have easily gotten in. He chose not to.

Carissa caught up to us and saw the screen. She rushed to explain.

“Alice, don't overthink this. Ray and I got photographed once and it went a little viral, so I……”

“Carissa, drop the act.”

“If I'd known you were this shameless, I never should have saved you. I should have let you die there!”

My eyes were bloodshot. The words ripped out of me in a scream.

Carissa flinched like I'd struck her. Her mouth opened, then closed. Tears streaming down her face, she flagged a cab and left.

Ray's brow furrowed hard, his expression darkening in an instant, voice thick with disgust.

“Alice, when did you become this vicious?”

“Just because you saved Carissa once, she has to give in to you on everything? Hand over everything she has?”

“Do you have any idea how hard these years have been for her?”

His words lodged in my throat like wet cotton, bitter and suffocating.

He could see everything Carissa did. He couldn't see a single thing I'd endured.

He tossed my bag back at me.

“I'm going to check on Carissa. Get yourself home.”

I watched him walk away without looking back, and something in me finally gave. I crouched on the curb and wailed.

I cried until I couldn't feel my hands or feet, hyperventilating so badly that everything went black.

When I came to, I was in a hospital.

No one beside me. Not a single message on my phone.

I thought of my mom waiting for me at home and got up to pay the bill at the front desk.

But the doctor walked in first and handed me a lab report.

“Ms. Garner, congratulations. You're pregnant.”

“The pregnancy is still very early, and given that your overall health isn't the strongest, you'll need to rest and keep up with your checkups.”

“You can't let your emotions run this high. What happened to you today wasn't good for you or the baby.”

I took the paper with trembling hands. My voice barely made it past my throat.

“You're saying I'm pregnant?”

“Are you sure there's no mistake?”

“I was injured before I turned eighteen. The doctors told me back then that my chances of conceiving were almost nonexistent.”

The doctor was a kind, older woman. She smiled gently as she reassured me.

“Almost nonexistent isn't impossible. Try not to overthink it. Just take good care of yourself.”

I sat on the hospital bed, one hand pressed against my still-flat stomach, crying and laughing at the same time.

Why did you have to come now, of all times?

I'd barely stepped out of the hospital, hadn't even had time to hail a cab, when Ray came storming toward me.

Before I could say a word, he grabbed me and shoved me into the car, rough and wordless.

The car tore through the streets and pulled up in front of a private hospital.

My heart dropped like a stone. Dread flooded through me, and my eyes burned red in an instant.