When the First Love Returned, I Died

2

"Leon... are you coming home today?"

I asked softly, perhaps too afraid of being rejected. I really missed him.

"Lydia is being admitted to the hospital today. I'll stay with her tonight." His voice came through the phone, distant and preoccupied.

There was a moment of silence.

"I went to the hospital today. The doctor said..."

At that moment, I could faintly hear someone calling for him in the background. "I have to go. Text me if you need anything," he said before hanging up.

"Text you? Would you even read it? Would you respond?" I gave a self-mocking smile.

I held the diagnosis report, reading it over and over. I knew each word, but when they came together, they seemed incomprehensible. How could I be dying? How could this be happening to me...

Subconsciously, I hid the report and then suddenly realized it was pointless. Leon hadn't been home for a long time. Eventually, I just left it in the bedside table drawer.

I swallowed the handful of pills the doctor had prescribed, gulping hard to get them down. I turned off the main light and switched on the bedside lamp, ready to sleep.

3

"Violet, I have a secret to tell you. Leon confessed to me today," Lydia said with a blush, her cheeks tinted with a rosy hue.

Her features were delicate, her eyebrows curved, her large eyes framed by a tiny, captivating mole near the corner. When she smiled, two dimples appeared, filled with sweetness.

Dressed in a long white dress and her hair braided, she was really beautiful. No one could resist such a refined doll. No one could resist 17-year-old Lydia—optimistic, kind, and perfect.

I paused for a moment. "Do you love him? Have you two become a couple?" My tone was unnatural.

"I... I think I do love him, but I haven't accepted him yet." Her voice rose slightly, carrying the pride of a girl who knew she was adored.

"Lydia, we're all good friends. If you two break up later, can you still be friends?" I bit my lip, feeling ashamed of my words. I had to admit I didn't want them to be together. Jealousy is a cardinal sin.

"You have a point. I'll think about it some more. Anyway, I'm off to buy your favorite hibiscus flowers."

...

"Violet, Leon and I are in love! I've only told you. Don't tell anyone, okay? And as for the question you asked last time, Leon says he would never break up with me." Lydia's face was beaming with happiness.

Even in my dreams, I felt the bitter waves rising. I tried to force a smile, but it was difficult.

"Congratulations, Lydia."

From 17 to 22, they were in a relationship for six years. I watched from the sidelines for six years, and I suffered for six years.

4

"Ms. Hill, the company is not doing well. Without additional funding, it will be difficult for us to develop the next project."

"I understand. You can leave now."

I leaned on the desk, rubbing my temples.

Withe can't collapse. It's the result of Leon's and my hard work. It's my only legacy in this world. I can die, but Withe must survive.

I opened my phone and dialed. "Lydia, it's me. Which hospital are you in?" Seemingly shocked, Lydia was silent for a long while.

"Central Hospital, 7th floor, room 07. Violet, are you coming to see me?" Her voice was gentle.

"Yes, I'm on my way."

Lydia said to Leon, "Leon, Violet is coming to see me. Should you go pick her up?"

"She has a driver. You still need to have an IV later, and someone should be with you." Leon poured her a glass of water. "Lydia, take your medicine. There's a lot of it. You can take it in two doses."

It was 7th floor, room 7. Leon still liked the number 7 as much as before.

His luck was back, but where did that leave me?

I held a bouquet of carnations and saw Leon sitting close to the bed, holding Lydia's hand. I knew he was warming it for her.

Lydia often had IV treatments in winter. Leon, afraid she would be cold, would always warm her hands like this. I knew that.

I knocked on the door.

"Good morning, Violet!" Lydia said, carefully pulling her hand free from Leon's grip.

"Good morning. How are you feeling?" I put down the flowers and sat casually on the chair without making eye contact with Leon.

"I'm feeling better. Once I'm discharged, we can get together again." Lydia seemed to have come to terms with her physical condition.

I changed the subject. "Leon, can you go home today? I want to discuss something about Withe with you."

Leon looked at me and gave a slight, disdainful laugh as if he thought I was up to some trick.

I lowered my head slightly, digging my nails into my fingers, feeling a mix of anticipation and fear.

I prayed he wouldn't refuse me in front of Lydia.

"I'll be home for dinner tonight," Leon said, and both Lydia and I looked up at him at the same time.

...

The wall clock struck nine. It was nine o'clock. Since I came back, the front door had been silent.

I sat at the dining table, watching the exquisite food in front of me go from steaming to cold. All that was left in my heart was nausea. A wave of revulsion suddenly surged up my throat, and I swallowed hard.

"Hilda, throw the food away."