Too Late to Save Me

On the day of the bone marrow transplant, Moira was the lead surgeon, but she never moved to harvest Doug's marrow.

I had expected it, but my chest still tightened anyway.

Right before we were wheeled into the operating room, Doug had leaned in close and whispered tauntingly, "Wanna make a bet? I bet she won't take my marrow for you."

He sounded so sure of himself.

I forced a faint smile.

A part of me still hoped Moira wouldn't let me down. We met in college and spent five years together.

As I lay on the operating table, however, she didn't look at me once. Her eyes stayed on Doug the whole time, filled with concern.

She lifted the scalpel, then hesitated. When the anesthesiologist was about to sedate Doug, he suddenly started crying.

"Moira… I don't know how long this body will hold up after the surgery. While I'm still okay, there's something I want to say."

She reached for his hand right away, her expression soft.

Doug's voice shook. "I've never been as lucky as Jay. I didn't have wealthy parents. I didn't have someone like you… No wonder he's always saying everything I have now was handed to me by him. Moira… After you take my marrow, will I recover like before?"

As soon as he finished, Moira shot me a sharp look. Then she turned back to Doug, her voice gentle. "You're what matters most."

Their voices carried outside the operating room.

My parents heard everything. They decided right then to cancel the surgery.

I watched them walk out with Doug, gathered close around him.

Outside, they laughed and talked like they had just escaped something terrible.

My mom wiped her tears, smiling. "Let's go on a trip. Just the family."

Doug hesitated, playing his part. "What about Jay…?"

Moira didn't even pause. "He'll be fine. Plenty of people donate marrow every year. We can find him another match. It's not a big deal."

My dad didn't say anything.

Their voices faded as they walked away.

It was as if they had forgotten I was still there, lying on the cold table.

As a medical graduate myself, I knew my chances of surviving were slim. My breathing slowed, then stopped on that cold operating table.

-

A week later, they came back from their trip and couldn't find me.

They didn't know my soul was still there, drifting above them, watching.

My mom suddenly looked up, like she felt something. For a moment, it was like her eyes met mine.

Her heart started racing. She turned to Moira. "Have they found a new donor for Jay?"

Moira's smile faltered for a second before she answered lightly, "We found a match overseas. The private jet's already been sent to bring them here."

For a brief moment, I saw something like guilt cross my mom's face.

"We've been so focused on making it up to Doug that I feel like we've neglected our own son. I should've corrected him sooner. I wonder how Jay's doing now…"

My dad paused, cigarette in hand, silent for a while.

Was he thinking about me?

Back when we reunited, my dad said I looked exactly like him when he was younger. He told everyone that after my adoptive parents died when I was still a kid, I somehow clawed my way through life doing odd jobs just to put myself through college. He said that kind of grit reminded him of himself.

He had even told the media once that I was his pride and joy...

My mom's words caught Moira off guard, too. Only then did she realize it had been a long time since she had contacted me privately.

Moira suddenly wondered if my condition had been painful whenever it flared up. For a brief moment, she wanted to call me.

But then she remembered how I had supposedly made things difficult for Doug and felt that a man like me deserved a lesson.

So she reassured my mom gently. "Don't worry. I already checked on Jay before I left. At worst, these next few days will rough him up a little and wear down his temper. Once the marrow transplant's done, he'll be back on his feet in no time."

Only then did my mom finally relax.

"He's had a hard life since he was little. Nothing ever came easy for him. After the transplant, bring him home for dinner. As long as he apologizes properly to Doug, he can move back in with us."

Moira nodded. "Once the transplant's over, there's something I need to tell him, too."

Doug's eyes widened instantly. He clearly hated hearing that, but this time, he didn't dare say a word.

As I listened to them talk, even my hands, drifting there in midair, trembled slightly. And yet, inside, I felt strangely calm.

I wish I could tell them there was no "after this" for me anymore.

Their beloved son, their fiancé, died on that freezing operating table a week ago.

Yet, none of them knew. They were still planning a future that included me.

Moira said that once this latest anatomy demonstration was finished, she would personally perform my marrow transplant surgery.

-

A few days later, Moira returned to the medical school to supervise a dissection class.

The cadaver for the demonstration was wheeled into the room beneath a white sheet.

The moment she saw the shape beneath the sheet, a strange sense of familiarity washed over her. She thought about how completely I had vanished, and the unease in her chest grew stronger.

"No... Jay's just throwing a tantrum," she muttered under her breath as she reached out and pulled back the sheet.

My pale, lifeless face came into view before her eyes.