To Break You For Your Own Good

As a result, Lance was forced to mature far too early.

While other kids in the neighborhood were still playing in the mud, Lance was already learning the family’s brutal trade.

His tragic upbringing had forged him into a cold, cruel man. But he saved his sharpest, cruelest barbs for me.

When my tattoo design won a silver medal instead of gold, he’d tap my forehead and dismiss my "limited talent." He would point at my work and berate me, "How can you not grasp such a simple composition?"

When I won a bronze medal in a competition where he won gold, he would glance at me with unconcealed disappointment and coldly label me a "failure."

Throughout my entire adolescence, my mom's favorite refrain was, "Look at Lance. He's so outstanding, the most promising heir in the family. His achievements are second to none."

I grew up in Lance's shadow, hating how he always made me feel worthless, hating how my mom constantly held him up as the gold standard.

But back then, everyone insisted Lance and I were "the perfect couple." They claimed he treated me this way only because he cared.

Even when Lance confessed his feelings, he framed it as a virtue. "Leann, if I didn't care about you, would I be so strict with you?"

That was the first time he had ever spoken to me so gently. His expression was soft, his eyes filled with a warm, smiling light.

The cheers from those around us drowned out the unease in my heart. And just like that, I naively fell into a life with him.

That naivety lasted for ten years.

Marissa, my college best friend, was the only one who had my back when I decided to break up with him.

Once in college, Lance summoned me to his private club to keep him company.

Waking up at six on a weekend was torture. I rushed over but was still three minutes late.

Lance stood at the door with his arms crossed, his face a thundercloud. "Leann, do you have any concept of time?"

"Is this how you plan to show up for client meetings? What happens when a multi-million dollar deal falls through because of your tardiness?"

I instinctively started to apologize, but Marissa, returning from her morning run, pulled me behind her.

"It’s bad enough you dragged her out of bed this early on a weekend just to keep you company. Leann is doing you a favor by even being here."

"And she was three minutes late. Do you really need to make a federal case out of it?"

After that day, the relationship between Lance and Marissa turned icy.

Marissa was always my biggest cheerleader. She celebrated my high GPA, my design scholarship, even just my discipline for making it to an eight o'clock class.

She would say, "Don't listen to Lance. Our Leann is the absolute best!"

It was the kind of validation I had craved my entire life. I adored being with her.

Lance scoffed at it. "She only praises you to make you complacent and blind to your own flaws."

"One must be humble to see their own shortcomings. I point out your problems directly. That is what’s truly good for you!"

Every time Marissa's name came up, Lance’s brow would furrow, the corners of his mouth turning down in displeasure.

I knew that look. It was the prelude to a lecture.

I wanted to argue, to defend Marissa, but an inexplicable fear would always grip me, leaving me paralyzed.

I was terrified. Terrified of Lance's anger, terrified of his accusations.

When Marissa found out, she just gently stroked my hair. "Leann, when a bird has been caged for too long, it forgets how to fly."

"Take it slow."

So today, when she heard I had finally decided to break up with Lance, she was ecstatic.

She hugged me tightly and whispered, "Congratulations, Leann. You're finally free."

Marissa took me to her apartment, letting me stay in the guest room.

She led me inside, her eyes sparkling. "Leann, do you like it? I decorated it just for you!"

I stared at the dark, gothic-style wallpaper, the desk adorned with skeletal roses, and the doll on the bed tied with a black bow. I stared, dazed.

After moving in with Lance, how long had it been since I had seen anything that was truly me?

Lance was a minimalist. His entire estate was a sterile landscape of black, white, and gray.

As for my love for dark and gothic aesthetics, he would just sneer, "Leann, your taste is so morbid."