The wife I forgot to love

Helena heard his key in the door at seven forty-three.

She didn't check the time on purpose. She just knew because the chicken had been resting for exactly thirteen minutes and Damian was never home before the thirteen minute mark. Not anymore.

She called out from the kitchen. "Dinner's ready."

No answer.

She heard him drop his keys on the table by the door. Heard the particular silence of a man doing something with his phone before he did anything else.

She plated the food.

He appeared in the kitchen doorway still in his coat, phone in hand, eyes finishing a message before they found her. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." She nodded at his plate. "Sit. It's going to get cold."

"Two seconds." He typed something. Set the phone face down on the counter and finally took off his coat. Came to the table and sat across from her.

Helena looked at her husband. At the jaw she knew and the eyes that were present now but had been somewhere else four seconds ago. She picked up her fork.

"Long day?" she asked.

"Always." He tried the chicken. Chewed slowly. Something in his expression settled. "This is really good, Hels."

"Rosemary. You said last week the lemon version was too sharp."

"I did say that." He looked at her then. Actually looked at her. "You remembered."

"I remember everything you say about my cooking." She smiled. "It's the only feedback I reliably get."

He laughed. A real one. The kind that reached his eyes and made him look like the man she married. "That's fair. I'm a bad reviewer."

"The worst." She pointed her fork at him. "Zero stars. Would not recommend."

"I'm eating it though."

"You're eating it because you're hungry and it smells good. That's survival not a compliment."

He was still smiling. "Fine. It's incredible. Best chicken in Velmont. Best chicken in the world. Write that down."

"I'm writing it down." She wasn't writing anything down. She was just looking at him, looking at her, thinking that this was what she loved most. Not the grand moments. Just this. Just him at her table laughing at nothing.

His phone lit up face down on the counter.

Not a sound. Just the screen throwing light at the ceiling for three seconds then going dark.

Damian's eyes went to it. Fast. Involuntary. Then back to his plate.

"You can check it," Helena said.

"It's fine."

"Damian."

"It's fine, Helena." His voice was still easy but the laugh was gone. He cut another piece of chicken. "Tell me about your day."

She told him. She watched him listen with most of his attention and give the rest of it to the phone sitting six feet away. She talked about the Morrison account and he nodded in the right places. She mentioned Cassidy's Sunday dinner invitation and he said sure, sounds good, without asking what time or what to bring.

When she got up to clear the plates he was already reaching for his phone.

She ran the water in the sink and didn't look back.

"I have to make a call," he said behind her. "Work thing. I'll be quick."

"Okay."

His footsteps moved down the hall toward the living room. The door didn't close all the way.

Helena turned off the tap and stood still.

His voice came through the gap. Low and careful the way voices get when someone is trying not to carry across a house. She couldn't make out sentences. Just rhythm. Just the particular shape of a conversation that was comfortable. That knew where it was going.

Then a sound she felt before she understood it.

He laughed.

Not the laugh from ten minutes ago at her table. Something else. Something quieter and more private. The laugh of a person who is completely at ease.

Helena put both hands flat on the counter.

She stood there until she heard him say goodbye and his footsteps started back toward the kitchen. Then she turned on the tap again and picked up the sponge and was washing a pan that was already clean when he appeared in the doorway.

"Sorry about that."

"Dont worry about it." She didn't turn around. "There's dessert if you want it. Shelf in the fridge."

"I'm good." A pause. "You okay?"

"Tired." She turned off the tap and dried her hands. Turned around and gave him a smile that she knew looked exactly like a real one. "Early night I think."

He nodded. "Yeah. Me too. Let me just finish something upstairs."

He was gone before she could say anything else.

Helena stood in her clean kitchen in the quiet of her clean house and listened to his footsteps climb the stairs and thought about the laugh. The particular private ease of it. The way it sounded like a person who had somewhere warm to put themselves.

She picked up her phone from the counter.

She told herself she was checking the time.

Instead, she opened the browser and typed two words.

Camila Calloway.

The search loaded.

Images came up first. Helena's thumb hovered.

She clicked.

The third photo in the grid stopped her cold.

It was taken at what looked like a rooftop event. City lights behind them. Velmont skyline. Both of them dressed up, standing close, his hand on the small of her back in the particular way of a man who has put his hand there before. Camila Calloway was laughing at something off-camera. Beautiful. Effortlessly, infuriatingly beautiful.

And Damian...

Damian was looking at her.

Not at the camera. Not in the city. At her. With an expression Helena had not seen on his face in so long she had almost forgotten it existed.

The phone felt heavy in Helena's hand.

Upstairs she could hear him moving around their bedroom. The sound of a drawer opening. The ordinary sounds of a husband ending his evening.

Helena looked at the photo for a long time.

Then she turned off the screen, set the phone face down on the counter exactly where his had been, and stood in the silence of her kitchen while everything she thought she knew about her marriage rearranged itself quietly around her.