The Regret You’ll Carry Forever

At my designated workstation sat the new secretary, Ann Cortez.

She painted her nails red, tapped on her phone and pulled up three months of my bathroom surveillance videos.

“The company's new policy states that you can't go to the bathroom more than five times a day during work and each time can't exceed five minutes.”

“You do it more than ten times a day. Who knows if you are just slacking off?”

“If everyone followed your example, how would the company operate?”

I was completely confused. When did the company implement such a policy?  I went to Benny's office and told him about it.

He simply said indifferently, “I hired Ann from a big company at a high salary. The policies she set are based on the experience of big companies. Of course, we have to follow the rules.”

I held back my anger and explained that I was pregnant and the work pressure was causing frequent morning sickness, forcing me to use the restroom.  

Benny waved his hand dismissively. 

“You're in poor health? Don’t use that as an excuse,” he scoffed. “If I let you off today just because of morning sickness, next thing I know, everyone will claim diarrhea or some nonsense just to slack off. How am I supposed to manage that?”

My fists clenched at my sides as my face flushed with fury, eyes stinging.

To him, my morning sickness was no different from diarrhea.

I was about to say something else when Ann walked in with her phone.

“Angie, according to the company's new policy, pregnant women will be laid off. I only spared you because of Mr. Webster's sake.”

“But now you have violated the rules too many times. If I don't handle this, the other employees won't respect me and how can I manage the team?”

“Besides, you're an older pregnant woman. You should go home to rest. Running to the bathroom all the time not only affects efficiency but also makes others think our company has no rules at all.”

I stared at her and said coldly, “I'm pregnant and old, but going to the bathroom often hasn't affected me from securing the Lincoln Family partnership for the company.”

“I am also the company's Vice President. If this policy hasn’t been approved by me, it shouldn’t have been implemented.”

Her eyes turned red and Benny slammed the table. “Enough!”

He saw the shock and tears brimming in my eyes but only frowned, his tone sharp and impatient. 

“I made the policies. If you have a problem, take it up with me. You’ve already been fired, so don’t throw your Vice President title around to bully her.”

“Stop using your pregnancy as a shield. You’ve been in the bathroom more than at your desk. Ann told me everything. The team’s been picking up your slack.”

“And if being pregnant is making you this weak, isn’t Ann doing you a favor by letting you go? She gave you a chance to rest and instead of thanking her, you come in here and attack her—your own assistant?”

He narrowed his eyes at me like I was the disgraceful one. “Apologize to Ann. Now.”

Apologize?

I looked deeply at this man who had walked beside me for ten years, from campus to the business world.

Back then, when core employees refused to follow my commands as a woman and argued with me, he didn’t hesitate to dismiss them on the spot, regardless of the core technology they held.

He held my hand and spoke firmly in front of everyone in the company, “Angie is my wife and my business partner. Disrespecting her is disrespecting me. Moreover, our company never keeps employees who disrespect women.”

Those words were posted online by employees and attracted countless praises and we were awarded the title of Best Company of the Year.  

Just a year later, he tolerated a young assistant he hired from somewhere, who showed disrespect and discrimination toward me, a pregnant woman.

I took a deep breath and was about to speak when I caught a glimpse of a pair of underwear under the sofa cushion.

The corners were embroidered with small snowflakes.