After He Chose His First Love, I Refused to Get Back Together!

I returned home. This is a new house for our marriage.

At first, I was filled with joy, thinking that Cash and I finally had a home of our own. But now everything had changed. I was thinking about how to sell it.

Cash had never come back. Because no one had been back for several days, this new house that I had carefully cleaned seemed a little damp and cold. I packed my luggage neatly, only to find that I had so few things here.

I really liked couple cups and couple plates. They were not practical, but beautiful and interesting. However, Cash didn't like them. He had never used the couple items I bought for him. Every time I mentioned them, he always said, "Kathy, I don't like these things. Don't buy such useless things that take up space."

From then on, I restrained my interests and never bought nice gadgets again.

It was not until now that I realized that apart from the engagement ring, Cash and I had nothing to prove that we were a couple.

Even when we were taking photos, every time I smiled and tried to get closer to him, he would push me away and tell me to stand still, acting like a stranger.

Had he loved me? I think he had. I still remember his excited look when we got engaged that day.

I took down every photo I printed out and posted at home, and tore the photos apart. Fortunately, he kept a distance from me in every photo, so the photos still looked perfect, as if there had been no one beside me.

After I finished doing all this, I walked to the door of his study. When we rented a house together before, he wouldn't let me enter the study. I respected his privacy and thought that couples should trust each other, so I never went there once.

But this time, I didn't want to listen to him anymore. This was my house and his, and I just wanted to go in.

I opened the door of the study. He didn't lock it. Maybe it was because I always listened to him in the past, he didn't expect that one day I would disobey him.

The study was very clean, pretty much as I had imagined. A large bookcase was on the side. A mahogany table was in front the bookcase. There was also a bed.

But a large group photo was hanging above the bed, a photo of Cash and Sue.

In the photo, Cash had a brilliant smile on his face that I had never seen before. He held Sue in his arms, and his eyes were always looking at Sue.

I still felt a lot of pain. So, was this the difference between love and not love?

I had never seen the appearance of Cash's lover before, but now that I had seen it, I couldn't no longer pretend that nothing had happened.

I passed the painting and went straight to Cash's desk.

The desk looked simple and tidy, with only a few pens in the pen holder, a photo frame, and a ceramic cup that I accidentally broke before.

The photo frame still contained the photo of Cash and Sue, who looked younger and more energetic. The only thing that remained unchanged was that Cash still only had Sue in his eyes.

I put the frame aside and picked up the ceramic cup to examine it closely.

It had broken into pieces, but Cash pieced it together bit by bit. Clearly, that Cash liked this ceramic cup very much.

He really liked it. When he was moving things into the study, I offered to help him, but before he could refuse, the ceramic cup slipped off the side of the box.

It was the first time I saw Cash so angry. His eyes went red, and he knelt on the ground and picked up the scattered ceramic pieces carefully. Even his hands were shaking. I was scared and wanted to help him up, saying that I would buy him another one exactly the same. He pushed me away and threw me to the ground. He looked like he wanted to eat me and said coldly, "It's impossible to have an identical one."

Because of this ceramic cup, he and I didn't talk with each other for a week, and it ended with me apologizing proactively. I comforted myself by thinking that everyone had something they liked. Since I broke it, I should apologize.

But I never thought that Cash had told me that he hated these fancy things the most.

I opened the drawer of the desk and saw the notebook at the bottom. I took it out and opened the first page.

This was a diary written by Cash to Sue.

The first page, "Sue, why did you leave me? If we have any difficulties, can't we solve them together? Aren't you afraid that I will fall in love with someone else?"

The second page, "Sue, my parents arranged blind dates for me, but every girl I saw had your shadow in them"

The third page, "Sue, I met a girl who looks a bit like you. My parents like her too. I might marry her. Will you blame me?"

The fourth page...the fifth page...the sixth page.

I jumped over it and saw the date when I broke the ceramic cup.

"Sue, I thought I had let you go. I thought I could marry Kathy and not think about you anymore, but I was wrong. Sue, she broke the ceramic cup we made together. What should I do? Sue, will you never come back?"

It seemed that Cash didn't hate those little gadgets. It was just because the person he loved was Sue, not me.

No wonder I couldn't find one exactly the same. They made it together. It was the fruit of their love. No wonder Cash was so angry.

Even the traces that I thought he loved me were all fake. He might consider me as Sue's double.

My nose suddenly felt a little sore, and the last glimmer of hope in my heart was extinguished, leaving only endless indifference.

There was nothing belong to me in my home, but his study was full of things about Sue.

I didn't know how long it took. I took pictures of the diary bit by bit, put it back to its place, and went out. I tidied up the study as if no one had been there.

I thought it was time to discuss canceling the wedding with my parents and his.