Preparing the Zoo for Christmas

Thor the Tiger: [Something’s off. A female human just gave me a huge slab of meat. It’s definitely poisoned!]

His message dropped in the chat, and the whole group went wild. Some doubted it, while others thought the zoo was finally showing some mercy.

Predators from nearby enclosures all turned their attention toward his cage. The lion from the next habitat even jumped onto the partition wall, craning his neck to peek over.

Africana the Lion: [A whole slab of meat? Save me some!]

Leopards, hyenas, and other carnivores began growling with excitement, eager for a bite. However, Thor the Tiger didn’t respond. His paws were already pressing down on that juicy steak, his self-control wearing thin.

Just then, a congregation of white egrets flew overhead. Within seconds, new intel appeared in the chat.

The Egrets’ Shared Account: [It’s that human from the elephant enclosure! She brought Thor the Tiger meat!]

When the news got out, Thor the Tiger froze. He lifted his head and, with a hateful look at me, slapped the steak away.

Africana the Lion: [Geez, don’t waste it! You threw it right into the stale water!]

The lion’s furious roar echoed across the fence as he tumbled down in frustration.

Thor the Tiger simply ignored him. His fangs glinted as he growled low, each step heavy as he stalked toward me. He was thin, but his limbs were long, his back straight, and his presence menacing.

Still, I didn’t panic. Instead, I reached into the bag I’d brought and pulled out his favorite bag of chicken drumsticks. When I tossed one inside, Thor the Tiger paused. His throat rumbled as drool began to spill from his jaws.

Above us, the egrets fluttered anxiously, feeding updates to the group chat.

The Egrets’ Shared Account: [Oh my, she really loves the Thor the Tiger! She brought him chicken drumsticks! But Thor the Tiger’s resisting! He looks furious! He might eat her instead!]

The chat erupted. Even the elephants chimed in, clearly nervous.

Ellie the Elephant: [Thor the Tiger, don’t eat her! She’s a good human!]

Benny the Elephant: [Yeah! She gave us tons of sweet fruit! We call her Miss Fruit now!]

Kingsley the Monkey: [Thor the Tiger, do me a favor and hold off. Don’t hurt Miss Fruit yet.]

Thor the Tiger: [Quiet!]

His roar was deafening, shaking the entire zoo. Every animal fell silent instantly. Even the egrets dove into the trees, hiding behind the leaves.

I didn’t waste another second. I dumped the whole bag of chicken drumsticks into his cage and flashed him my most confident smile.

“Hey there,” I said brightly. “You’re the most beautiful tiger I’ve ever seen. Your eyes look like stars in the night sky. These chicken drumsticks are my gift to you. I’ve got a mountain up north. Come with me, and you’ll be king there.”

I laid it on thick—full-on flattery mode—but Thor the Tiger blinked, clearly confused. That was when it struck me that he, an animal, couldn’t understand human language.

Luckily, Pedro the Parrot came to my rescue. It perched right on top of the tiger’s cage, wings puffed up as it typed rapidly into the group chat.

Pedro the Parrot: [Thor the Tiger, she said you’re the most beautiful tiger she’s ever seen. Your eyes look like stars in the night sky.]

The translation touched the animals.

Daisy the Duck: [That’s so romantic! I want to divorce my husband and marry Miss Fruit instead!]

Javier the Crane: [Suddenly, being widowed doesn’t seem that bad. I feel like I believe in love again.]

Kingsley the Monkey: [Why does my butt feel hot again? And red?]

Thor the Tiger said nothing. He only stared at me coldly.