Please Don’t Say You Love Me

In that instant, the entire world went silent. It felt as if an invisible hand had reached into her chest and seized her heart, yanking it so hard she could barely breathe.

She stood frozen in place, as if nailed to the ground, watching blankly as James held the girl in his arms, coaxing her gently, kissing her softly, and smiling as he spoke to her. Then, just like that, the two of them disappeared from her sight. The only thought left in her mind was: James had someone else by his side.

Rain poured down, soaking her from head to toe, but she felt nothing. She stumbled forward through the storm, eyes hollow and unfocused, her mind replaying that devastating scene over and over again.

It had been twelve whole years. Other than her parents, James had been the person who treated her best in the world. He had been so good to her—so good that sometimes she felt merely meeting him must have used up all her luck.

How could he be the boy who had climbed up to her bedroom window in the middle of the night, eyes shining with confidence as he promised to treat her well forever, the boy who had thrown himself over her to shield her when street thugs surrounded her, or the man who had stood firmly in front of her when his mother pressured and humiliated her about having children?

The eyes that had once only held her reflection now reflected someone else. The lips that had once kissed hers alone now intertwined with another woman. The hands that had touched only her body now roamed across someone else’s. The thought of those tore a sharp pain through her chest, as if her heart were being ripped apart.

The mansion was dark. The heavy, suffocating silence surrounded the figure curled up on the floor. Numbly, Remi scrolled through the information the housekeeper had sent her on her phone.

As it turned out, after it was confirmed that she could not conceive, Katie had repeatedly demanded that he seek another woman to carry his child. At first, James refused her again and again, for he loved Remi too much. However, Katie began threatening him with suicide by slitting her wrists multiple times. The last time, she had even lain in a bathtub filled with blood. Thus, in pain and desperation, he compromised.

He chose Sydney Parker, a girl who looked like Remi but came from a poor background. He chose her for two reasons. For one, she resembled Remi, so the child would likely look like Remi, too. Secondly, it was because Sydney had neither power nor money. When the time came, she would be easy to dismiss.

At the beginning, out of love and guilt toward Remi, James had no intention of being intimate with Sydney; he had planned to undergo IVF. That was until one night, after being forced to drink too much by business partners, he, in his drunken state, mistook Sydney for Remi. That night, lines were crossed, and that night, it was Remi's birthday. Yet, her husband had been in another woman’s bed!

Remi laughed and cried at the same time. She did not know whether she was crying at her own misery or laughing at his so-called devotion.

It was he who had said that not having children did not matter. He had said, “Sweetheart, you’re all I need.” Yet, it was he who climbed into another woman’s bed for the sake of a child.

‘James, is this what you meant when you said you loved me so much you could give up your life?’ Remi questioned.

If he truly wanted a child, he could have told her openly. Although it would have hurt her, she would have chosen to divorce him herself and leave him. What he never should have done was claim to love her while secretly creating another family of three with someone else.

With her hands trembling, Remi slowly lowered her phone and looked up at the home she had once shared with James. The house was their love nest. Every corner held evidence of their affection. She had once looked around it, happiness in her eyes, and told him that when they grew old, they would pass the house down to their child. Now, all she felt was pain.

Her gaze turned cold. She walked to the storage room and took out a hammer. Then, she swung it hard at the wedding photo on the wall, at the furniture they had chosen together, and at every gift James had given her over the years. She smashed them all until every last piece was shattered.