No More Tears, No More Fears

At night, Scarlett decided to fill me in on the partner for the dinner party, a notoriously difficult man in the industry named Mr. Charlie. His difficulty wasn't rooted in personality but in his habits. Whenever a cooperating company sent a woman, she would invariably face some form of humiliation.

"Vanessa, I'm on my period, so I'll have to trouble you," Scarlett said nonchalantly before excusing herself to the bathroom.

I was left alone to deal with Mr. Charlie, who stared at me from across the table with a predatory gaze. A sense of crisis arose instantly, my heart pounding as I felt the immense power disparity between us. My body, already sore from the previous night's ordeal, was no match for him.

The tension escalated quickly. Mr. Charlie's hands were rough and insistent, tearing at my clothes, exposing the marks on my body. His greasy face loomed closer, his breath hot and rancid against my skin. I felt utterly powerless.

"Smelly bitch, you just got out of someone else's bed and came to me, right?" he sneered, his voice dripping with contempt.

Just as I thought I couldn't endure any more, the door was kicked open with a resounding bang. Louis stood there and for a fleeting moment, he looked like a god descending from heaven. Relief washed over me, but it was short-lived. The disgust in his eyes made my heart sink.

Mr. Charlie lay in a pool of blood, groaning. I fumbled to button my torn clothes with trembling hands, but the fabric was shredded beyond repair.

"Ah! Vanessa, you..." Scarlett gasped, covering her mouth in feigned surprise. She stood safely behind Louis, her pristine appearance contrasting sharply with my disheveled, violated state. I felt like a wrinkled piece of trash compared to her.

Bitterness surged in my heart and I gritted my teeth, raising my hand to slap Scarlett. My palm stung with the impact, but it wasn't enough. I swung again, but Louis caught my wrist mid-air. The look in his eyes conveyed that he thought I was making trouble for no reason.

My vision blurred with tears as I wrenched my arm free and rushed out of the room. Scarlett's voice followed me, dripping with false innocence. "It was obviously me who called you because I felt something was wrong. Why is she like this? I'm going to see your mom tonight. How can I go now?"

Her aggrieved, coquettish voice lingered in my ears as I quickened my pace, desperate to escape.

But before I could get far, Louis caught up with me and carried me to the car parked outside.

"Let me go!" I shouted, struggling against his grip.

He didn't release me, his hold firm as he pushed me into the passenger seat. My heart pounded with a mix of anger, shame and despair. The car's engine roared to life and I slumped back into the seat, the fight drained out of me.

"What are you throwing a tantrum about?" Louis's voice cut through the tense silence in the car.

I panted, struggling to catch my breath, still holding on to a sliver of hope. "Louis, if I say that all this tonight was planned by Scarlett, will you still protect her?"

He frowned and there wasn't a trace of trust in his eyes. "Take care of yourself," he replied coldly.

I laughed bitterly, realizing the futility of my words. Of course, he would stand by his fiancée's side. I was nothing to him, just a convenience he could summon and dismiss at will.

"Let's end it, Louis. I don't want to be a mistress and maintain a shady relationship with you every day."

He snorted, his expression hardening. "You also know that you're shady. You've taken my money, so you have no right to tell me to end it!"

"I didn't take it!" I protested.

"Then how did the money disappear?" He shot back, leaving me momentarily speechless.

After a pause, Louis curled his lips into a mocking smile. "If you ask me, it's just that Mr. Charlie didn't have the money tonight. If Vanessa is satisfied, what can't be done?"

He opened a box and bundles of money fell on me, the paper edges stinging my skin. He pushed me down again, his weight pressing me into the seat. Sweat dripped onto me as his hot breath fanned my face.

"Is it enough?" he asked, his voice dripping with contempt. I didn't know if he was referring to the money or something else. My body was in the mud and my dignity was trampled alongside it.

My phone lit up and I saw a message from the doctor: 50,000 dollars. My head buzzed and my chest felt tight, making it difficult to breathe. Tears fell onto the seat as my resolve crumbled.

"I knew you could get it if you paid," Louis sneered.

I didn't refute him again. My mother had been the backbone of our family, but now she had been lying in the hospital with her eyes closed for two years. Every day, I wiped her body, my mind consumed with how to come up with the 50,000 dollars we needed for her care.

Louis's voice broke through my thoughts, a constant reminder of my current reality. "You're nothing without me," he said, his tone devoid of any emotion. "You should be grateful for what you have."

Grateful? For what? The humiliation? The pain? The constant reminder that I was nothing more than an object to be used and discarded?

As the car sped through the night, I realized that my life had become a prison. Louis was both my captor and my tormentor and Scarlett was his willing accomplice. The weight of my circumstances pressed down on me, but I knew I had to find a way out. For my mother's sake and for my own, I had to break free from this nightmare.

I once had a carefree childhood. The conditions in the countryside were poor, but I was very happy. I also met a young boy there. After he fell into the water, I tried my best to save him, but when I opened my eyes, there was no trace of him. Despite this, I still kept the things he gave me and remembered our agreement.

In a blink of an eye, my mother remarried and took me with her. Her new husband, a gambler, soon exposed his true nature, beating and scolding both my mother and me. During the years he disappeared to avoid debt collectors, I bit my lips and used all my strength to finally get rid of the group that came after us. Everyone else left me and my mother was all I had.

Even though various expenses had made me heavily in debt, I couldn't bear to give up. The bitterness surged in my heart and I couldn't help hiding in the bathroom to cry. Looking at the pale and haggard person in the mirror, I remembered meeting Louis again two years ago.

The person I thought about day and night was right in front of me and I followed him with joy. But he pressed me down on the bed. When I opened my eyes again, my whole body was sore and 20,000 dollars was thrown on my face. The indifference in his eyes pierced my heart and bled. The little boy who used to be had grown so noble and I was more and more haggard because of the burden of life. I couldn't help but feel ashamed.

Even though I was heavily in debt, I still had a little dignity. I didn't want the 20,000 dollars. But when he needed me, I couldn't help but rush to his side. This had almost become my subconscious reaction. Countless nights, he called me and we did the most intimate things. When I covered his heart, it was cold. In the darkness, I shed two lines of tears. Just like that, I buried all the things he had forgotten in my heart, including my previous name, Linda Walls. Now, there was only Vanessa Harrington.

***

In the hospital, the sterile smell of disinfectant filled the air, mingling with the faint scent of antiseptic. The harsh fluorescent lights cast a clinical glow on everything, making the environment feel cold and impersonal. I sat on the edge of the examination table, clutching the form with trembling hands. My heart pounded in my chest as the doctor's words echoed in my ears.

"You have a special physique and it is difficult to get pregnant. If you give up this pregnancy, you may not have the chance to have children in the future. Are you sure you want to abort it?" The doctor's voice was steady and compassionate, but it only made the decision more agonizing.

I stared at the examination form, my mind racing. This was his child. The thought of it brought a wave of conflicting emotions—pain, confusion and a flicker of hope. Could this be a new beginning, or was it just another complication in a life already filled with turmoil?

The doctor asked me repeatedly, "Are you sure?"

Each time, the question seemed to cut deeper into my resolve. I had come here with the intention of ending this, convinced it was the best choice for my shattered life. But now, sitting in this sterile room, the gravity of the decision weighed heavily on me. My future, my potential to ever have a family, all seemed to hang in the balance.

I trembled slightly, gripping the examination form as if it were a lifeline. Doubt crept into my mind and suddenly, I hesitated. The enormity of the decision loomed over me and for the first time, I wasn't sure what to do.