No More Tears, No More Fears

Forgive me for being a coward. In front of such a heart-wrenching decision, I just wanted to escape. The fear and uncertainty paralyzed me, making it impossible to think clearly. I wished I could just disappear, avoiding the pain and responsibility that weighed so heavily on my shoulders.

"Recover well and try not to think too much. Be careful not to make your cold worse," the doctor advised as I walked out of the examination room. His voice was gentle, but it couldn't penetrate the fog of my turmoil.

I sniffed, feeling a wave of dizziness wash over me. The past few days had been a rollercoaster of emotions and I hadn't even noticed when I had caught a cold. My body felt weak, mirroring the exhaustion in my mind.

Outside the hospital, the world continued as if nothing had changed, but everything felt different to me. The burden of my situation pressed down, making every step heavier. I shivered, wrapping my coat tighter around myself, trying to shield against the chill in the air and the turmoil within.

As I walked away, I couldn't shake the image of the examination form from my mind, the doctor's words echoing in my ears. The decision still loomed and I knew I couldn't avoid it forever. But for now, all I could do was try to find some semblance of calm, hoping that clarity would come with time.

***

As soon as I entered the office, I heard everyone discussing that Mr. Charlie was dead. He had been hit by a truck on the road and died on the spot. The chatter buzzed around me like a swarm of bees, filling the office with a tense and morbid excitement. I paused, pretending not to hear and kept my expression neutral, though my mind raced with the implications.

"Vanessa, Mr. Robins is calling you," a colleague informed me. I nodded and walked towards Louis's office, trying to steady my nerves and compose myself.

When I entered, Louis didn't even raise his head from his work. His presence was imposing, as always, making the large office feel small and suffocating. "Come home with me tonight," he said, his voice cold and commanding, sending a shiver down my spine.

For a moment, my heart fluttered, hopeful that perhaps there was still something between us. But then his next words crushed that hope. "Apologize to Scarlett," he continued, his tone devoid of any warmth.

My throat tightened and I had to clench my teeth to stop my entire body from trembling. "Why?" I managed to ask, struggling to keep my voice steady.

"Because you treat kindness as a donkey's liver and lungs," he replied, his eyes still fixed on his paperwork, as if my presence was nothing more than a nuisance.

In the past ten years, I had seen through people's hearts and learned to discern their true intentions. If I couldn't see through Scarlett's manipulative schemes, it would have been a waste of all those years of hardship and beatings. I forced myself to speak slowly and clearly, "I won't go."

The atmosphere grew colder, the tension thickening the air. Louis's face darkened and his eyes finally met mine, filled with an icy resolve. "If you leave this door, the deputy director will be replaced," he threatened, his words slicing through my resolve.

Thinking of my mother's medical expenses, I clenched my fists until my nails dug into my palms, drawing blood. The pain helped me focus, but it also highlighted my helplessness. He repeated, "I'll ask you again, are you going?"

My pride shattered and I bit my lip until I tasted blood. After so many years of enduring hardship and humiliation, I was no longer the carefree girl I used to be.

"...Yeah," I whispered, the word barely audible but carrying the weight of my surrender.

Instantly, a flood of grievances and resentment welled up in my chest and my body swayed with the weight of it all. As I opened the door, I was met with Scarlett's smug, smiling face. She raised her eyebrows proudly and I passed by her indifferently, refusing to give her the satisfaction of a reaction.

"Louis, do you think I look good in this outfit? I'm so nervous to meet your mom tonight," she cooed, her voice dripping with false sweetness.

My stomach ached, a knot of anxiety and despair tightening with every word she spoke. I didn't know if it was because of the tension or the mother-son bond that had once connected us. I forced a smile and rubbed my stomach, trying to soothe the ache, but tears dripped onto the back of my hand, betraying my true feelings.

I had been to the Robins Family home before. Maria, Louis's mother, had been urging me to get married and at that time, I happened to be with Louis. We had just been intimate and there was still a trace of tenderness on the bed when he had pulled me to his family home in a fit of rage.

Back then, there had been hope and a sense of belonging, however fragile. The Robins Family home had felt like a sanctuary, a place where I might finally find some stability and love. But now, as I stood there with Scarlett flaunting her victory, that hope felt like a distant memory, buried under layers of pain and betrayal.