Mom, I'm Sorry… I Just Wanted to Go Home

He was so strong that I couldn't break free. My whole body trembled with fear, and it was too late to run. I struggled and screamed, but no one paid any attention to my pleas.

They treated me like prey, forcing one bottle of alcohol after another into my mouth.

My consciousness began to blur, and I sank into endless darkness, trapped in a terrifying dream. In the dream, I became a bloodied lamb, surrounded by people with no escape, left only to be slaughtered.

When I came to again, I was on the train home. I blinked in confusion, but excitement bubbled up inside me. I was finally on my way home. Soon, I would see Grandma.

Strangely, when the conductor came to check tickets, she scanned every passenger carefully, but when she passed me, it was as if I weren't there at all, and she walked right by.

Once I got off the train, I ran as fast as I could, wishing I could fly straight into Grandma's arms. By the time I reached the village entrance, I saw her from a distance.

She stood alone by the old millstone, leaning on her cane, staring unblinkingly in the direction I always returned from.

A neighbor passing by couldn't help but say, "Mrs. Graham Senior, it's so cold outside. You should head back inside."

Grandma shook her head stubbornly. A hopeful smile spread across her face as she murmured over and over, "Just a little longer…"

I ran full speed, calling out, "Grandma! I'm home!"

I reached out to hug her, but my arms passed through her like she wasn't there.

I froze in place.

That was when I realized I was dead. I had died in that rental apartment, trying to earn the money to get home, during my very first winter break after getting into college.

Grandma waited until the sun had completely set before the light in her eyes finally dimmed. Weighed down by disappointment, she slowly made her way back home.

I followed her home. A shiny, new car sat at the gate. My parents' faces shone with joy as they carried pile after pile of Christmas gifts inside.

I couldn't believe my eyes. When had our family ever been able to own such a car?

Mom had always told me this year would be hard, to save every bit of money at school, and not to ask her for extras.

My little brother, Hugo Graham, leapt out of the car and ran to Grandma. "Grandma, where's Nina? Why isn't she home yet? I was waiting for her to tell me a story."

Grandma ruffled Hugo's hair. "The tickets were probably hard to get. Maybe she has to take the train tomorrow."

Mom overheard her and slammed her suitcase to the ground in fury. She yelled, "That brat's sulking at me! Just because I reduced her allowance a little, she refuses to come home!

"If she never returns, fine—I'll pretend I never had a daughter! She spends our hard-earned money every day and can't even remember to check in. Ungrateful little witch!"

I stood in front of Mom, waving my hands desperately. "Mom, no, that's not true! I wasn't sulking, and I didn't refuse to come home. I came back on time. You just can't see me! I'm not ungrateful. I've worked so hard. I got first in my major this semester!"

No matter how loudly I screamed or how desperately I waved, they couldn't hear me, and they couldn't see me.