LOVE: EVERYTHING OR NOTHING

The bar was packed as usual on a Saturday night. It was the place to be, whether on a date, looking to make new friends, or just unwind after a long week. The Brownstead Brewery always felt like a welcome to place to anyone. However on this particular night, Keith didn't want to feel welcomed, didn't want to feel happy. He just wanted to get his mind off of things and relax. He knew the bar would be busy with lots of people having a good time, getting drunk, unwinding from whatever was going on in their lives. Keith just wanted to feel like everything would work out and hope he would not feel pain anymore.

Every once in a while he would stop and look around from his bar stool and see what was going on around him. He liked to watch people and see how they interacted. He could usually tell within a few minutes the purpose of why a group were there. He looks over at a group of people at the other end of the L-shaped bar and studies them. He believes they are engaged in a double date. One couple seems to be very comfortable with each other and the other aren't sitting that close to each other. The guy looks rather nervous around the woman and he can't blame him. The woman is easy an eight on the attractive scale while the guy looks more like a five. He keeps looking at them while sipping his craft draft beer hoping the guy finds a way to show some confidence, but nothing seems to happen after ten minutes. He decides to look over his shoulder and see if anything else more interesting is going on but everyone is just mingling, nothing special happening.

He turns back looking at his beer and takes a long sip of it. "Why did I come here?" he whispers to himself looking at his mostly empty beer glass.

"Would you like another or do you want water?" the bartender asks.

"Just water for now Andy," Keith says in a depressed voice.

"You need to stop beating yourself up Keith. It's been nearly a month since what happened between you and Jillian." Andy gives Keith his glass of water. "I miss seeing you happy."

Keith shakes his head. "You know it is not that simple for me to stop beating myself up. I've tried distracting myself in so many ways but...the thoughts just keep returning and they won't leave me alone."

"Then we are going to play basketball at the courts tomorrow."

Keith looks up to see Andy staring at him. "Thanks for the invite, but I..."

"That wasn't an invite. I'll see you there tomorrow at two or I'll be banging on your door until you come out."

Keith couldn't help but laugh knowing Andy would not take no for an answer. "You might be a great friend, but tomorrow I'm gonna take out all my anger out on you."

Andy smiled back knowing he had done his job as bartender and friend. He looked at other end of the bar and saw some patrons trying to get his attention. "Let me know when you want another," he said, walking away to greet the patrons and Keith relaxed back into his seat and took a long sip from the glass. He and Andy have been friends ever since their freshman year of college when they became roommates at the dorms. Even though Keith was the nerd and Andy was the jock, they got along really well from the beginning. They just happened to also be in the same English and Psychology class the first semester. Keith was surprised to see how well Andy did in those classes even though he was a jock. Andy's natural competiveness pushed him to want to get better grades than Keith and would tease him if he ever got a higher test score in Psychology. Keith wanted nothing more than to shut him up so he took on the challenge of never getting a lower test score than Andy. They ended up with the highest scores in the class.

While they didn't share any classes their second semester, they agreed to keep up the competiveness by comparing test scores every week with the loser having to buy the other dinner at whatever local college restaurant the winner picked. They bonded over time and became best friends even when their collegiate careers changed. Andy ended up dropping out because he didn't want to accumulate too much debt and became a bartender at the Brownstead. Keith graduated with a degree in business and ended up working as a logistics coordinator for a small company in the college town.

One of their favorite activities was playing basketball. While Keith looked like a skinny nerd, he enjoyed playing basketball growing up and always prided himself on playing good defense. Andy wasn't anticipating how good Keith was the first time they played and never made that same mistake again. Anytime they got to play with a group of people Andy always made sure Keith was on his team. Even if Keith didn't score, Andy knew he would hassle the other team's best player on defense and make them work hard.

Keith was happy at the thought of playing basketball again. It had been a long time since he last played and probably the thing he needed most to get his mind off Jillian. As he was thinking about tomorrow a young woman sat next to him and looked right at him. "Hi, I'm Jackie."

Keith jumped as she introduced herself not expecting anyone to sit next to him, much less just introduce themselves. "Umm, hi. I'm Keith." Keith didn't know what to do or say next and just stared at her.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"No!" Keith said trying to not freak out or make her freak out. "I just wasn't expecting anyone to just approach me and introduce themselves to me."

Jackie gave a light laugh at his response. "Well, you are at the hottest bar in town and you looked lonely sitting here by yourself. I figured you could use some company."

Keith closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knows she right that he is lonely but talking with a stranger just isn't his thing. He opens his eyes and looks at Jackie. "I don't want to sound mean, but I actually want to be alone tonight."

Jackie is confused by his response. "You want to be alone, yet you are at a packed bar. Sounds like someone who wants to be alone," she responds sarcastically.