Losing Me, Memory by Memory

Over the years, I had knitted Fabian scarves, bow ties, socks, and sweaters.

That morning, I saw Yelena's post about celebrating his birthday on Instagram. The attached welcome card was from a famous hotel.

I turned off my phone notifications and focused on studying for my counseling course. I knew I needed to make a living after the divorce. Fortunately, even though my memory was fading, my ability to learn had not declined. After all, I no longer had to give Fabian my full attention and love anymore.

I was learning surprisingly fast too.

At 10:00 pm, I was ready to sleep after my shower. But I received a call from Fabian, and I wondered how he had the time to call me at this hour. I hadn't expected his tone to be off the moment I answered.

"Anya, do you really not remember what day it is today?"

I looked at the night view photo from the hotel Yelena had just shared five minutes ago.

Suddenly, I couldn't figure him out anymore. "Fabian, I'm a little tired today. I'm going to sleep now, so let's talk tomorrow."

…

Fabian was stunned when Anya ended the call on him. Memories of every birthday she had celebrated with him flooded his mind all at once. He felt a strange bitterness inside, as if something important was slipping away from his life.

That sense of loss and grievance caught him off guard. Even seeing Yelena in her seductive red nightgown suddenly felt dull.

His heart skipped a beat, and he shook off the distracting thoughts forcefully.

Fabian sank back into Yelena's embrace, and the two of them spent the whole night tangled in a passionate embrace.

After Fabian fell asleep, Yelena posed seductively and took a photo. Then, she posted again on Instagram. The designer bag beside her was as eye-catching as her red nightgown.

She wrote in her post, "My boyfriend gave me a gift on his birthday. I don't even know who's really the one celebrating. I love him so much!"

Comments flooded in with well wishes.

…

I saw Yelena's post the next morning. I was dazed for a moment before remembering her boyfriend was Fabian.

This drug was truly strange. It didn't seem to erase my memories in order of time but rather memories connected to a certain person.

I realized I had very few memories of Fabian left. The only thing I knew was that he was my husband, and he had cheated on me. But other than that, I had almost completely forgotten what had happened between us.

My feelings for him had faded so much that they were almost gone.

Unable to resist joining in the fun, I even liked Yelena's post. I swore I meant it sincerely.

Fabian was so much older than her, so it was essentially him robbing the cradle. Honestly, he was the one getting the better deal, and even I felt a little embarrassed for her.

I laughed out loud, having amused myself.

When Fabian opened the door and saw me smiling so brightly, his guilty expression darkened. After a moment of silence, he asked, "What made you so happy? Last night, I—"

I looked at him in confusion. "What happened last night?"

His words caught in his throat, and he said nothing in the end.

Seeing that, I got up and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I made sunny-side-up eggs, some toast, and a fruit salad. Then, I poured two glasses of milk.

"If you haven't eaten yet, why don't you join me for a bite?" I casually invited him.

He was happy to come over, but his expression changed in an instant.

"Anya, I'm allergic to milk. Don't you remember?"

I froze, then said, "Oh, really? Sorry, I forgot. Lately, I seem to have trouble remembering things about you. What's going on? Why did we get together in the first place? It's very strange. Why am I only forgetting things about you?"

Fabian's expression grew darker as I spoke, showing signs that he might explode.