My Wife’s Best Guy Friend Had Constipation, So I Used Super Glue on Him

I had been driving for almost three minutes when my phone rang. I glanced at the screen and saw Lucia was calling.

Was she sick? Why was she calling me when she was literally in the car?

…Wait. Where were Lucia and Asher?

I slammed the brakes and looked back. Damn! The back seat was completely empty.

“Hello, my dear wife, what are your orders?” I answered the call.

“Fuck you！Where’s the car?! Where the hell did you drive off to?! Hurry up and get back here!” Asher’s voice shouted from the background.

I whipped the car around and sped back.

Meanwhile, Amelia next to me was laughing so hard she almost passed out; her plump bosom almost shook right off. I nearly fainted just watching her.

A few minutes later, I drove back to the villa.

Lucia helped Asher into the car and glared at me. “Mateo, if anything happens to Ash, I'll not let you off the hook!”

“The LaxaTube was the problmatic one, why are you blaming me for?” I defended myself but didn’t start the car.

“Hurry up and drive!” Lucia snapped.

“I swear, why did you drive off to?! Were you trying to kill me?!" Asher was crying and rolling in the seat, clutching his stomach.

“Relax. No need to panic. Actually, I had a reason for driving ahead. You’ve played League of Legends, right? You know Teemo? You know his voice line? 'I went ahead to scout!’” I explained with serious tone.

“Scout my ass!” Asher screamed.

Lucia kept a straight face, trying not to laugh and almost failed.

“WAHAHAHAHA—!” Amelia was laughing like a pig, smacking my arm while laughing too hard.

But she hit me right as I was driving and my arm hurt. My hand twitched a bit and the steering wheel shook. Eventually, we crashed straight into a streetlamp.

Right then, the car stopped dead.

“What happened…?” Asher’s voice was full of despair.

“Useless trash! Do you even know how to drive?!” Lucia was furious.

Seeing Asher’s pale face, I worried he might actually die in the car, so I stopped messing around and drove with more seriousness.

The road was clear that time. So, we reached the nearest hospital in about ten minutes.

Emergency staff rushed Asher inside.

A young nurse asked, “What symptoms does the patient have?”

“Oh! He used Crazy Glue instead of LaxaTube!” Amelia raised her hand like a schoolkid, answering proudly and cutely.

“W-what?” The nurse froze, then hurried into the ER to tell the doctor.

They were definitely going to need surgery. Soon, the emergency room became busy.

Amelia and I sat in the hallway, both trying not to laugh.

Meanwhile, Lucia paced back and forth in front of. Obviously, she was furious. Finally, she stopped and pointed at me with a trembling finger.

“Mateo! Even if you’re jealous, you can’t go this far!”

“What does this have to do with me? I'm just giving him LaxaTube like you asked!" I felt extremely wronged.

“Oh, the cover was LaxaTube alright. But someone, clearly, switched the contents to Crazy Glue!” Lucia yelled before slapping my cheek.

SLAP!

I dodged and her slap landed straight on the metal IV stand beside the bench. Lucia was soft and delicate woman, so she yelped in pain immediately.

“Don’t you dare threaten me. When I said, I didn’t do it, then that means I really didn’t do it,” I said.

I continued, “But if you need to get some revenge. Fine, I’ll take you on!”