I Love You... Or You?

Susie POV

3 years before the attack on the pack, just arrived at the green pack.

I see Samie, or whoever this person is, take that dust away from me and my mom. I am so disoriented that I have no idea what to believe, I have no desire to feel anything. I just want to go and crawl under a bed and lay there till, god knows when. I stay quiet even though I know I should say what I feel, I should be angry, I should be a lot of things but I am just plain tired.

“Sue, sweety, how are you feeling?” My mom asks me as she tries to get near me, I haven’t been here in a really long time, I know where my room is so I just turn my heel and go to my room, I lock myself in it because I don’t want anyone. I just want to stay here and let everything consume me.

Why is it that anything I do to help, to be a better daughter, friend and even partner makes me live thru worse things, not even my own wolf wants me. I don’t even care to learn if she will ever come, I have lost all my hopes. I’m going to bench watch cold cases and eat like a pig. I need comfort and I know being in my room will give me that.

“Sue? Can I come in?” Samie asks from the out of my bedroom door, I change into my sweat pants and jacket hoodie shirt, I put on my bunny puffy socks, I let my hair free fully after that I slip under my covers, I start crying, I let it all out and from that I fall asleep, never answering her.

That went on for two more days, I need to stay here for a while longer is what I would have liked, I hear the door being knocked on and then it swings open. In comes my mom with Samie. I turn to face the wall of my room, under my covers.

“Susie, honey. You need to take a-” I cut her off, I hate when I am suffering and all I get is to be told what to do, no looking to comfort me, no asking me what topping I want, that makes me supper angry.

“No you need to leave me the hell alone, I don’t need to be told what to do or expect. Go to your mate and do it to him, leave me alone.” I say with tears going down, knowing strongly I don’t have a mate because I don’t have a wolf, I start to cry even harder.

“Susie, we need to tell you things are important but we can’t if you still feel this hurt, we don’t want to hurt you, your mom means well, it maybe difficult but we are here if you need us” that's all she tells me, I hear her take steps back and I can feel my mom do the same. I hear the door close and I am stuck again in the same place.

Three in the morning and I get out of bed to go to the kitchen to get some soda, pizza and then go back to watch horror movies, what I wasn’t expecting was bumping into someone.

“Auch, what’s the big idea in hitting me? Can’t you look in front of you?” I am annoyed at the big brut, it felt like I hit a person, when I look my embarrassed face starts to show.

“Same to you, can’t look with your eyes close Princess?” Comes an energized guy, he sounds agitated about this, I was simply walking and he came out of nowhere.

“Princess? Listen here I have had enough guys acting all Alpha on me. Get your sh** and get out of my sight.” I say with one hand on my hip and the other on my head rubbing the bridge of my nose, that was a hard hit.

“Susie right?” His voice tries to sound all hard and difficult to get, I hate guys that act like they can take it all and be like nothing. What is up with guys these days?

“That’s right and you are?” I say flat out and with no fu*** given.

“Neo, can’t believe you don’t even know the names of the people in your pack. We see all doomed.” Answer Neo a bit sour.

I walk to the nearest light switch, and as soon as I switch it on there’s a slim teenager, not all muscles but he looks good, he reminds me of Alpha Lame. Grate.

He moves to the side while I keep rubbing my nose, knowing everyone’s names of this pack. I am a horrible step daughter. I left to another’s pack and was in a relationship with another pack and I’m now back where I started.

“Look Ne-o, I get you have an issue with being a gentleman so I will just go.” My voice comes out with a yawn at the end, not even considering it’s freaking two in the morning.

“Oh no, I'm a gentleman but I am also no pushover. You can’t bump into others and act like a brat. Say you're sorry and I will let you go.” He steps in front of me, as I try to leave.

“Why? You bumped into me?” I say to him straight he is not that tall 5.09 tops, why is he being difficult?

“No” he crosses his hands on his bare chest. So I push myself to go behind him. He holds me in place.

“Why are you having such a difficult time just doing something so simple?”

He tilts his head and raises his eyebrows at me. Are you for real?

“Let go of me or I will scream!” I say a bit louder than I was intending but I’m so drained I just want to go to bed again after stuffing myself from food, I wasn’t aware I started crying again.

“Hey hey hey, no crying. Look, all I was asking was for a small apology, geese you big baby get out of my sight then, see if I care if you get in trouble.” He lets go of me and I speed to the kitchen, jerk.