I Lost Our Baby and Found Myself

I looked at him, and almost wanted to laugh.

He had always known. He knew exactly what I really minded, and he hadn't cared.

In his heart, no one had ever mattered the way Madison did.

Whatever Madison did, she was young, she didn't know better. Whatever I did, I was making a scene over nothing.

"I'm serious."

"Adam, I don't love you anymore."

"Deborah, we've been together for years. We were so close to getting married. If you really can't make room for Madison, I'll send her abroad to study, and once she's grown up a little, the two of us can—"

"I'm me, and you're you. There is no 'us'."

I looked at him without warmth and said it slowly, one word at a time.

"Adam, your clinging is genuinely exhausting."

The air went solid all at once.

The last bit of warmth drained out of his face, and his eyes turned sharp on me.

His voice came out cold as ice.

"Fine."

"Deborah, you think I can't live without you?"

"If you hadn't gotten pregnant before the wedding and backed me into a corner, do you think I'd ever have wanted to marry you?"

"Thank you for calling off the engagement. Now I won't have to wake up every day facing someone I got sick of a long time ago."

With that, he dropped the gift box straight into the trash without a second's hesitation.

Then he turned and strode off.

He walked away, his posture cold and absolute, without a trace of reluctance.

I sank back against the chair.

My fingers were trembling slightly.

He thought my pregnancy had been a setup, a scheme to force him to marry me.

In his heart, that was the kind of person I was.

I clenched my fingers hard and held on to the surface calm, refusing to come apart in front of anyone.

Only my heart felt like someone had run a knife through it, raw and bleeding.

Not long after, a close friend of mine got married.

I hadn't wanted to go, afraid I'd run into Adam.

But she begged me.

"Debbie, please, I'm still short one bridesmaid. I'm begging you, help me out."

"Adam already said he's away on business next month, so he can't come to the wedding."

"Don't worry, you won't run into him."

I thought it over, and agreed.

The day of the wedding, the whole place was alive with noise and celebration.

I was hurrying across the banquet hall when my eyes unexpectedly locked with someone else's.

Adam stood a little way off, a glass of champagne in his hand.

He looked at me, his gaze calm and still.

My friend came over, full of apology.

"Debbie, I'm so sorry, I don't even know how this happened."

"Adam swore he wasn't coming to the wedding, and then just now he said his work schedule changed last minute, so he could make it after all."

I shook my head.

It was fine. As long as I kept my distance, it didn't matter.

There were so many people at the wedding. There'd be no reason for our paths to cross.

Soon the mood swelled to its peak.

A few of the women guests kept glancing toward Adam, and one of them finally worked up the nerve to walk over to him.

"Hi. Do you have a girlfriend? Can I get your Instagram?"

Every eye in the room turned in that direction.

Adam's cold gaze swept over the girl in front of him.

The next second, it settled on me, certain and deliberate.

I knew what he meant.

He was telling me that if I bowed my head and gave in now, he would still give me one more chance.

Otherwise, I might really lose him for good.

I didn't move. I just quietly ate a piece of candy.

And Adam went on staring at me, stubborn about it.

Until the smile on that girl's face could barely hold, on the edge of turning into embarrassment and humiliation.