I Died Loving Him. Now I'm Back

Selene's POV

I woke up screaming, not remembering the reason why, it just happened.

One second I was somewhere dark and cold, the next I was sitting in my own bed with my heart racing at a faster pace.

I remembered everything. The knife, the way that Camille looked at me before she used it. She didn't look angry, that was the worse part, she looked like someone who was getting the job done.

I grabbed the headboard, I thought I might fall off the bed. My whole body was covered in sweat. For a second I did not know where I was or what time it was, or if I was even alive.

Then I looked around the room and found out that I was still in my old bedroom. Not the room in the Vance house, not the room where I had died.

My childhood room, my mom's old curtains were still hanging like nobody had taken them down.

“No,” I said out loud, even though nobody could hear me. “No, no, no”. Saying it loud did not change anything, the room was exactly the same. I put my hand in the place where Camille had pierced me and found nothing, there was no cut, no blood.

I checked my wrist too. There was no mark. That's the mark of a wolf when they get mated, I didn't have one.

The point is either I had died and this was some weird version of heaven or I was alive again in a body that had not yet lived any of it.

I got up and went to the mirror over my dresser. My brother had cracked that mirror years ago by throwing a boot at me. I still remember that.

I looked at my own face for a while, I looked younger. Not the tired face that I had as a result of marrying someone who barely spoke to me

None of it made sense. My memories didn't match my body, I don't know how else to say it.

I remembered getting married. Three years. I remembered Camille’s voice right before she killed me, telling me that I was not needed again now that the merger was done.

I remembered the knife going in, then darkness.

I sat on the floor and pulled my knees up to my chest. I used to do that when I was little whenever I was scared and wanted my mom to find me.

Nobody came this time. The house was quiet. My dad was probably still asleep down the hall and so was Theo. Nobody knew that the wedding that everyone was happy about ended with me dead on somebody else's floor.

I didn't sleep the rest of the night.

I thought about Damon, always standing near Kellan, never saying much. I thought about Mara at a funeral that never happened because there was no funeral, just a quiet burial that Kellan barely showed up for.

I thought about the guards that used to stand outside my room, they worked for me but they reported everything to Kellan instead.

It took me three years to notice that. Mara probably would have figured that within the week.

By morning, I had already come up with a conclusion.

I wasn't doing any of this the same way again. I wasn't going to stand there while other people made decisions about my life.

I heard footsteps in the hallway. My dad’s footsteps. I wiped my face, I guess I had been crying without noticing, and got up off the floor right as he opened the door.

"You're up early," he said.

Then he stopped and gave me an intense stare as a tender expression could be seen on his face.

"Selene. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just couldn't sleep."

"You've been crying."

"It's nothing, Dad. Really."

He didn't look like he believed me. He never did, actually. My father had a way of seeing straight through whatever calm face I put on, and normally I found that annoying. That morning it almost broke me.

But before he could push, Theo's voice came from down the hall.

"Alpha Hart. There's a rider here from the Vance Pack."

My dad turned toward the door. "What does he want?"

"He says the dinner will be happening in two weeks time.."

I didn't move.

Two weeks. Not three months like I thought.

Two weeks until I had to share the seat with Kellan again. Two weeks until I saw Camille for the first time in this life.

I survived that dinner once. And I had three years to get ready for it back then. This time I had fourteen days.

"Selene." My dad looked back at me, softer this time. "You don't have to be scared. Kellan is a good man, from what I've heard."

I chuckled a little because I knew that at this point he was out of options.

"I know, Dad." There was no point saying anything else. "I just need a minute."

He left.

I dressed slowly that morning.

When I finally went downstairs, my dad was talking to one of his advisors at the table as there were maps everywhere.

"Two weeks isn't enough time to plan a proper dinner," the advisor said. "The seating alone takes days."

"We'll manage," my dad said. “Selene, have a seat and ear,” he said without looking at me.

I sat down. I didn't eat much.

"You're quiet this morning," my dad added.

"I have a lot on my mind."

"That's understandable. It's a big change."

"Yeah," I said. "Something like that."

"Your mother would have known what to say to you right now," he said in a low tone "I'm not always sure I do."

"You're doing fine, Dad."

"Am I? I moved your wedding up by four months without even asking how you felt about it."

"You didn't move it. Kellan did."

"I still agreed to it."

"You always agree to things that protect the pack. That's not the same as not caring."

He looked at me for a while, like he wasn't used to hearing me defend him. "When did you get so wise?"

If only he knew the real answer to that.

Theo came in a few minutes later, looking like he hadn't slept either, as he had a teasing look on his face.

“I can't believe that you can be this serious,” he said.

“I'm always serious,” I said.

He looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"You fell asleep during your own engagement announcement two weeks ago."

"That was different."

"Was it?"

"I was tired. It happens to people."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

I didn't answer that one. He let it go, mostly, and took a piece of toast off my plate instead as I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

There was a piece of paper on the table between my dad and the advisor. A guest list for the dinner.

My dad wasn't paying attention to it anymore, so I picked it up myself.

"Anything interesting?" Theo asked, leaning over my shoulder.

"Just names."

"Recognize any of them?"

More than you know, I thought.

I scanned the list slowly, checking every name against six years of memory. Most of them matched exactly what I expected. Elders. Advisors. A few Vance cousins whose faces I barely remembered.

Camille was already on it. Of course she was. Seated right next to Kellan, exactly like I remembered.

Then I saw another name near the bottom. Added later, in different handwriting.

Kane.