His Female Bestie Said Congrats, I Said Divorce

Vanessa laughed and punched one of the guys in the chest.

“Jason Miller, how many times do I have to tell you—I’m basically one of the guys. Call me Bro Vanessa!”

Jason bobbed his head, bowing and scraping.

“Yes, yes, Bro Vanessa! My mistake!”

The groomsmen roared with laughter again, completely forgetting I was still standing there as the bride.

Finally, Vanessa turned her attention back to me, pointing at Jason and me both.

“You two both owe me apologies, but I’m not taking just words. Here’s the deal—each of you chug a bottle, and we’re square.”

Ryan was the first to clap.

“Perfect! Bro Vanessa, you’re always so generous!”

The rest clapped along, while my face grew colder.

The waiter soon brought over two bottles of beer.

Vanessa poured herself a glass first and toasted Jason.

“Jason, I know your health’s not great. I’ll help you out.”

She downed the glass, earning cheers and applause.

Jason, near tears with gratitude, finished the rest of the bottle.

“Thanks, Bro Vanessa. Brothers for life!”

After their little performance, all eyes turned to me.

“Your turn, sis!”

Ryan slipped an arm around my waist, claiming ownership.

“Quit calling her sis—she’s Mrs. Parker now!”

“Right, right, Mrs. Parker! Drink up!”

Ryan leaned close to my ear, whispering,

“Emily, just drink it. Do it for me.”

I stared back at him with no expression.

“Ryan, I’m allergic to alcohol.”

He froze, then seemed to remember.

Back in college, Ryan had gotten blackout drunk at a client dinner. When I went to pick him up, the greasy middle-aged men wouldn’t let him leave unless I drank.

To get him out, I downed a full glass of vodka in one go.

Ryan was only drunk that night, but I ended up in the ER, nearly suffering full organ failure. The doctor said if we’d been any later, I might not have survived.

The day I was discharged, Ryan’s eyes had turned red as he swore to me:

“Emily, I’ll never let anyone force you to drink again.”

And now? For the sake of entertaining this so-called female bro, he wanted me to chug a whole bottle.

Seeing my displeasure, Ryan lowered his voice, coaxing:

“Emily, don’t make a scene. All my groomsmen are watching. Besides, it’s just beer, low alcohol. You can just go throw it up afterward. It won’t hurt you.”

Looking at him then, I wondered whether this marriage was worth going through with.

Someone urged me on.

“Mrs. Parker, come on! We’re waiting on you!”

Vanessa burst out laughing, cutting in:

“Oh, what’s that saying again? Dumplings are the tastiest, fun is the best… Anyway, don’t you dare hit on Mrs. Parker, guys, no matter how wild she is!”

My brow furrowed, and I turned to Ryan.

“What does she mean by that? She’s been publicly slandering me all night—does she plan to keep going?”

Vanessa quickly covered her mouth, feigning sudden realization.

“Oh no, did I just say what I was really thinking? Silly me!”

She tapped her temple in mock cuteness, acting all coy.

Ryan actually fell for it.

He grabbed Vanessa’s hand, chuckling.

“Alright, alright. You’ve always been slow. Don’t make yourself look any dumber.”

Vanessa pouted, pinching his waist.

“Who are you calling dumb, huh? If I’m the pig, then what does that make you—Piglet?”