After I Died, My Father Knelt in Front of My Grave to Apologize

I only remembered Mom's photos.

There were many Mom's photos at home. Photos had been shot from when Mom was in college to when she got married and had children.

Mom was beautiful, with big bright eyes, fair skin, and long hair. When she smiled, she had two cute dimples.

Mom really loved taking photos. After Yuki was born, they took many photos together every year.

I didn't meet Mom. Let alone taking a photo with her.

In my memory, Dad always said that I was a jinx who killed Mom when I was born and that Mom died for me.

I felt guilty and annoyed, and I hated myself.

Every time Dad said this, I wished I had never been born. Maybe if Mom hadn't given birth to me, she wouldn't have died. I even had depression for a while.

I had attempted suicide. In my bedroom, I used a fruit knife to deeply cut the artery in my wrist and let the blood flow out like water.

But I didn't die in the end and woke up in a hospital.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Dad's ferocious expression. "If you want to die, please get out. If you die in the house, no one will dare to live there."

I thought Dad would be heartbroken, but I didn't expect that he would hate me even more.

Later, I became afraid and didn't dare to commit suicide again.

Firstly, suicide was so painful, and I always remembered that pain. So, I dared not try it again. Secondly, I thought if I was more filial, I could get Dad's love, even if it was only a little bit.

Hence, after I was admitted to a university, I took the initiative to ask for no tuition and living expenses. I applied for a student loan and studied hard to get a scholarship. I even took on various part-time jobs after class.

During my four years in college, not only did I never ask my family for a penny, but when Yuki asked me to borrow money, I generously gave her most of my savings.