Dying While You Loved Her

My arms burned, but I didn’t care. I dragged myself back to my room, pulled out the first-aid kit, and poured alcohol on the cotton. The sting hit like a punch, almost knocking the air out of me.

Still, it wasn’t as sharp as watching Fredrinn forget me, piece by piece.

Back then, he’d freak out over the tiniest thing. A paper cut and he’d be panicking, dragging me to the infirmary like I was dying. I used to laugh at how over the top he was. Secretly, I loved it. He made me feel like I mattered.

Now, he didn’t even notice the burns. Didn’t even ask. He just walked away with my twin, like I was invisible.

That night I closed my eyes and let the tears come. They slid down my face and onto my arms, burning on the fresh wounds. I bit my lip to keep from screaming, but even that sting wasn’t as sharp as the ache in my chest.

The next couple of days proved I’d completely fallen in his world. My twin clung to him like glue. He couldn’t go five steps without her pulling him back.

At dinner, she pouted like a spoiled kid, nudging his arm. “Fredrinn, feed me the shrimp. You know it tastes better when you do it.”

I pushed my food around, quiet. He picked up the shrimp, fed her. She leaned into him, smiling like I wasn’t even there.

On the couch later, she curled up against his chest while a movie played. “Hold me tighter. I hate the loud parts.”

He just tightened his arms around her. No hesitation. Not a second for me.

Every time I walked by, she’d tilt her head at me, all sweet and fake. “Lesley, you promised, right? You don’t mind if we’re close?”

I forced a tiny smile. “Not at all.”

That became my answer for everything. I wasn’t even sure if I was lying or telling the truth anymore.

The truth was my body was falling apart.

She was supposed to be my bone marrow donor. My own blood. The one person who could save me. But she dangled it like a trophy, a game I was always losing.

...

That evening I looked in the mirror. Pale. Weak. I might not even have the strength to stand soon. That’s when I made a decision.

I needed one last picture. A photo for my funeral. So even if Fredrinn forgot my face, he’d see me once more. Alive. Smiling. Me.

“Miss, you’ve got a really graceful face. ID? Graduation?”

I stared straight into the camera. My voice was calm, but inside I was already gone. “For my funeral.”

The guy’s hands shook, like he wasn’t sure how to react. I didn’t explain. I just let the flash blind me, told myself this would be the one on my coffin.

When I went to wait for the copy, I froze. Laughter at the front door. That low chuckle. His voice. And her high-pitched giggle.

I turned. They were walking in, arm in arm, like some happy couple.

“Lesley? Why are you here?” she said, fake shock.

I tucked the photo in my pocket. “Just took one for my ID. What about you two?” My voice stayed steady.

She leaned on him, soft and sweet. “Photo albums are important for couples. We took a few days ago, now we’re picking them up.”

Fredrinn glanced at me. “She begged. I only went along. Once you’re better, we can make our own album.”

My chest tightened. I nodded, said nothing.

Staff called them over to pick photos. I tried to slip out. My twin grabbed my wrist. “Lesley, help us choose. You’ve got better taste than me.”

Before I could react, she dragged me to the computer. There they were.

Photo after photo. Holding hands. Smiling like they belonged. Sunset behind them as they kissed. Him hugging her from behind in matching white.

Every image stabbed me. My throat felt tight.

“Pick a good one, Lesley. Which looks happiest?” she chirped, sharp and fake.

I couldn’t speak. Then a loud crash shook the room. Shelves toppled.

Fredrinn lunged at her, covering her body instantly.

Meanwhile, a sharp corner of a metal shelf hit my shoulder. I screamed, pain ripping through me. Blood soaking my blouse.

“Fredrinn, it hurts!” My twin wailed, clutching her tiny graze.

He panicked. “You’re bleeding. We need a hospital.” He swept her into his arms, running toward the door.

He looked at me for a second, trapped under the shelf, blood pooling around me. Our eyes met. One, two seconds. Then he looked away and left.

I forced myself up, swaying, and dragged myself to the hospital.

The doctor frowned at my wound as he stitched me. “Why didn’t anyone bring you here? You lost too much blood. This is serious.”

I bit my lip as the needle went in. “I didn’t have anyone.”

He hesitated. “Weird… a young woman came in earlier with a tiny graze. Her boyfriend was terrified. He demanded extra checks.”

A bitter laugh escaped me. “That was my boyfriend too.”

He froze, didn’t ask more. Just finished the stitches in silence.

Late that night I was in my room changing my bandage when Fredrinn finally came back. He froze at the door when he saw me struggling.

His eyes went wide at the wound. “Lesley, how did this happen?” His voice cracked as he rushed over.