Dying While You Loved Her

I didn’t even look up. “The shelf hit me.”

His hand hovered over mine, shaking. “It… it was chaos. Miya was crying. I thought she got hurt bad. I didn’t mean to leave you.”

I forced a tiny smile. “You did the right thing. She needed you.”

“No, Lesley.” He grabbed my hand tight. His grip was warm, desperate. “You don’t get it. I only treat her well because of her bone marrow. You’re the one I love. Always you. Don’t push me away.”

My eyes burned. “I know. That’s why I didn’t blame you.”

He let out a long breath, relief washing over him. He carefully wrapped my arm, his fingers gentle. “Rest now. I’ll stay. Watch over you.”

For a moment, with his hands on me, I almost believed it was the old days. Back when he never left.

Then the ringtone split the silence.

“Fredrinn…” My twin’s voice, dripping with fake sobs. “I miss you. I’m scared… I can’t find you…”

His face twisted, guilt sharp. “I’ll come right away.”

He hung up and looked at me, torn. “She’s alone in the hospital. She’s afraid. I’ll come back after she sleeps. I swear.”

And just like that, he left. Taking the last warmth from the room with him.

I curled up on the bed, hugging my knees. My breathing was uneven. My chest wasn’t the only thing that hurt. My heart was shattered.

He didn’t come home for two days. At first, I kept checking the clock, hoping I’d hear his footsteps. Then I stopped caring. I swallowed my meds on time, changed the dressing on my arm, and tried to heal quietly in my little corner.

That afternoon, I sat by the window with a book. The sun was warm, but my eyes hurt too much to hold it. My phone buzzed. I picked it up, and her voice poured through.

“Hi Lesley. Guess what?” My twin, sweet as poison. “Do you know Fredrinn risked his life for me?”

I froze. “What do you mean?”

She giggled, like showing off a trophy. “I said I wanted that necklace from the motorbike stunt show. He signed up right away. Didn’t even think. Drove so fast the bike almost flipped. When they shoved him in the ER, do you know what he yelled? My name. Mine.”

My book slipped. I looked out the window. Too bright. My eyes stung. But I didn’t let her hear me break. “So he hurt himself to make you happy,” I said softly.

“Yes,” she whispered, stretching the word. “He needs someone to take care of him now. Maybe you wanna come over?”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. “No, Miya. He’s yours, right? You’re the one he chose to get hurt for. Then take care of him.”

She was quiet too long. I ended the call, dropping the phone on the couch like it burned my hand.

The trees outside swayed in the breeze. I stared at them until my eyes blurred. Then I picked up the phone again. My fingers dialed a number I’d memorized weeks ago.

“Hello?” a man answered.

“Hi. This is about the double grave plot, section B, number twelve. I wanted to ask if—”

The door slammed open so hard I jumped, nearly dropping the phone.

“Lesley!”

I looked up. Fredrinn. Pale, hospital gown striped, chest wrapped in thick bandages. Blood soaked through. Lips drained. Eyes burning like fire.

My phone slipped to the floor. “Fredrinn! You should be in the hospital!”

He staggered closer, clutching the door. “Why, Lesley? Why were you trying to buy a grave?”

I forced a little smile, even though my heart had stopped. “Not what you think. Neighbor’s dog died. They asked me to help. That’s it.” I tried to sound calm.

He sagged, face twisted in pain. “Motor crash.”

I rushed to him, holding his arm. “Don’t talk. I’ll take you back to the hospital right now.”

On the ride, his head rested against the seat. His lashes fluttered like a boy too tired to fight. I stared at him, memorizing his face, the way his lips parted when he breathed. My voice trembled so softly only the wind could hear. “This will be the last time I worry about you. After this, I’ll already be in the grave.”

At the hospital, I signed papers, tucked him into bed, adjusted the blanket. He drifted into sleep.

I stepped into the hall, phone in hand, voice calm. “Miya, come here in the morning. I have something important to do.”

Her laugh came faint, light, full of music and chatter. “I’m out, Lesley. I’ll drop by tomorrow. Don’t sound so serious.”

Morning came. She walked in, designer bag over her shoulder, hair perfect. More runway than hospital.

I gave her a small, quiet smile. “You came.”

She tilted her head, lips curling. “Of course. I wanted to see you… though let’s be honest, Lesley. I’ll never donate bone marrow for you. Why would I? You know I only want Fredrinn. I’d rather see you gone.”

“I know, cousin. You wanted me dead. Then take him. Care for him yourself.”

Her eyes flashed. She grabbed my arm hard, nails digging in. Pain shot through me, but I bit my lip and didn’t scream.

The noise woke Fredrinn.

Miya let go immediately, slapped her own cheek, then burst into tears. “Fredrinn! Lesley hit me! She was jealous! Told me to give her my bone marrow while you were asleep! When I said no, she slapped me!”

She cradled her face, sobbing. Her cries shook the room.