After Two Lost Babies, I Walked Away

My head was full of the sight of the two of them kissing.

I turned it over and over, and still I couldn't let it go.

I wanted to find Mervyn and get the truth out of him.

When I reached the study door, Mervyn was sitting by the floor-to-ceiling window, lost in thought.

His eyes were fixed on the direction Victoria had gone.

And in his hand he held the ring Victoria had given him all those years ago.

Suddenly I remembered the things Victoria had said.

I turned my head and looked around me.

Pink curtains, childish decor, cherry blossoms everywhere.

This was supposed to be our marital home, paid for and furnished with my money, and yet there wasn't a single corner of it that suited me.

Just like how I didn't care for soft instrumental music, and didn't like eating at fancy restaurants.

But Mervyn always, without fail, took me to that same upscale steakhouse.

At first I thought Mervyn simply didn't understand these things.

Now, looking back, it wasn't that he didn't understand.

He had only taken his love and his longing for Victoria

and woven it into every part of his marriage with me.

The answer was already clear. There was no need to ask.

Understanding it all now, I wiped away my tears.

I was about to turn back when I accidentally knocked over a vase beside me and shattered it.

The sharp crack of the breaking vase made Mervyn whip his head around.

The ring in his hand slipped free and rolled to my feet.

Without thinking, I bent down to pick it up.

The man who had looked so wistful a moment ago suddenly rushed over.

Roughly, he snatched the ring out of my hand.

"Don't go touching my things!"

The edge of the ring cut a thin line of blood across my palm.

The wound was deep, but I didn't feel any pain.

Maybe I'd just gotten used to it.

When we first got together, Mervyn had lost his temper with me over this very ring.

I'd called it ugly.

I'd said the cheap, childish craftsmanship didn't suit a businessman like him.

But he'd said it was his good-luck charm, and no one was allowed to touch it.

Some good-luck charm.

It was a keepsake of his longing for her.

I looked at the bare finger of Mervyn's hand, and a faint curl tugged at my lips before I could stop it.

"Mervyn, where's our wedding ring?"

As though something had come back to him,

Mervyn's furious expression softened a little, and he lowered his voice.

"Forgot about it. Probably left it at the engagement party."

He hadn't forgotten it.

Victoria had thrown it away.

This very night, I'd seen it with my own eyes.

He'd carefully treasured the ring Victoria gave him for ten years.

But my wedding ring, he'd tossed casually onto the side of the road.

"If it's gone, it's gone. It wasn't anything important anyway."

Mervyn let out a sigh.

Just as I was about to leave, he suddenly grabbed my hand.

I thought he'd noticed the cut on my palm.

The next second, instead, I heard him say, careless as anything,

"Melody, let's just cancel the wedding. We can sign the marriage license, that's enough."

"You saw the state Victoria's in."

"There's something wrong with her mind. She can't handle any kind of shock."

This reason again.

The first time Mervyn and I went on a date,

Victoria had followed us to the restaurant and slipped something into my food.

I was throwing up and falling apart for days, nearly dehydrated enough to land in the hospital.

Mervyn said she was still young, and told me not to hold it against her.

The second time, on our anniversary,

Victoria threatened to jump off a building to make him go back to her.

Mervyn said she just couldn't accept the fact that we were together.

The third time, the fourth, the fifth...

She killed the kitten I was raising. She threw out the piece I'd entered into a competition.

And every single time, Mervyn said to me,

"She's just a madwoman. Why bother arguing with a madwoman?"

"From now on we'll just be more careful, just don't set her off, that's all."