After Failing to Pretend to be His Brother

The revelation that the university cafeteria sprawled across ten floors was staggering.

Jacob's son inquired, "What would you like to eat?"

I stammered, "I don't know."

He persisted. "What is your favorite dish?"

I shook my head, utterly clueless. Merely being satiated was a luxury for me.

Ultimately, he led me to a table laden with lasagna, a dish so delectable that I devoured five plates, unable to restrain myself.

Henceforth, if asked about my culinary preferences, I would unequivocally declare my love for lasagna.

After the meal, he playfully patted my arm, remarking, "Dude, you've certainly built up quite an appetite! No wonder you're muscular."

I offered an awkward smile, too ashamed to reveal my true gender.

Over subsequent visits to deliver items to him, our acquaintance deepened, and I learned his name - Noah Scott, a name as gentle as the spring breeze.

My own name, Charles White, carried the weight of hope that my mother wished me to be a boy.

I observed the university with a mix of envy and jealousy.

It was during one of these deliveries that I inadvertently picked up a campus card.

After finishing my work, I would often wander a long distance, clutching the campus card with a scratched photo and name and slipping into the school at night when the influx of students made my entry unnoticed.

Under the moonlight, young boys and girls at my age trod in their shadows on the playground, and I trailed them in circles, listening to their animated discussions about university life.

"You have no idea how strict my major's teacher is. He even takes attendance with facial recognition."

"Core courses are like that. Electives are far more lenient. There's barely any roll call; at most, they just glance at the roster."

"I have very few electives this semester, and they are all..."

Recalling Jaden's intention to skip his elective, I wondered if, given the lax attendance, I too could attend.

The more I pondered, the quicker my heart raced, a mix of guilt and exhilaration. I yearned to experience a university lecture, to fathom the knowledge imparted in those elective courses.

Jaden had shared his class schedule on Instagram, and I inquired from Noah about locating his classes.

To facilitate my search, Noah downloaded an app exclusive to the students in his college, revealing the exact classroom for each session.

I clutched my phone, scrolling through the details repeatedly. The prospect of learning about computers, history, international affairs, and other subjects I only knew by name was thrilling.

When Jaden posted pictures from his Bali getaway on Instagram, I hastened to finish my daily brick-hauling duties.

I changed into my best attire and washed my hands clean to settle into the elective class where Jaden was scheduled to be.

Over time, I had gathered all the necessary information - elective courses were open to all students, minimizing the risk of encountering acquaintances of Jaden.

I retrieved my high school pencils and notebooks, carefully positioning myself in the front row, an empty seat that guaranteed anonymity.

The elective course teacher, on a whim, conducted a roll call before the lecture.

"Jack Cooper?"

"Present!"

"Jaden White?"

I buried my head, feigning note organization and murmuring, "Here!"

The teacher's gaze moved on.

I swallowed hard, taking deep breaths to steady my nerves.

The teacher delved into poetry, and I listened intently, not wanting to miss a word.

I had always excelled in literature, drawn to the ancient words that resonated deeply, affirming my existence.

Given my work on the construction site, this was my sole class, a sanctuary of learning.