You Only Love Me When I Leave

“We planned this for months.” Marie Dane regarded her husband with cold looks.

Even though they had been married for almost three years and he had disappointed her at every major event during this time, she thought it would be different today.

“I’m sorry. You’ll have to go by yourself.” Harry brought the car to a stop after he had turned to face the opposite direction of the maternity hospital.

“It’s a checkup. It won’t take too long.” Marie gripped the seat belt with all ten fingers as if it could stop Harry from leaving.

“We’ll have more children. Besides, you’re barely two months along. There will be many other firsts. This business meeting is important.” Harry looked at her with pleading eyes.

“If this is about Violet—”

“Don’t.” Harry frowned. “Not everything has to be about her.”

“The last time—”

“If we stay here arguing, you’ll miss your appointment and whatever business problem I have will be worse. How are we going to afford the 2500 square foot home with an attached nursery garden for the baby.”

Marie frowned. She wanted the garden when she thought that she was the prime receiver of Harry’s affections but seeing now that she was second place or sometimes third, all she wanted was his affection.

“What if something happens?” Marie stared into Harry’s forest eyes.

She had been specific with the doctors about the kinds of egg she wanted implanted. One that has Harry’s eyes and his lean but strong face.

“Nothing will happen. You’re a capable doctor. You can handle this.” He leaned across the car and pecked her forehead. “I promise, I’ll be back to pick you as soon as the meeting is over.”

“Fine.” Marie unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car. Fighting with Harry never solved anything.

She turned to wave goodbye but he had already zoomed off, leaving her to find an alternative way to the hospital. She clenched her fingers and took a deep breath.

If he had stopped her at the other side, it would be easier for her to get a taxi. Now she had to cross.

She looked left and right, before setting out across the Zebra crossing.

She didn’t hear the car tires squealing on the hot asphalt in time to step back.

All she saw was a red car aiming towards her and then, total darkness.

The hospital discharged her later that night with a single piece of paper bearing the worst news.

Marie didn’t need to read the paper to understand what had happened after the drunk driver had hit her. She woke up on the hospital bed after the surgery with an empty feeling in her stomach. She knew even before her colleagues told her.

The last thing she wanted to do was return to an empty house. She hoped Harry would be home but she knew better. Yet, she opened the door to their two-bedroom house expecting to see him. He had not picked any of her calls so he was probably still in the meeting.

She felt empty and cold. Instead of angry and depressed.

She had tried to have a child for years and after succeeding with this IVF attempt, this child was cruelly taken from her in a matter of minutes. All because Harry refused to drop her off at the hospital. It would only have taken him four minutes.

She felt the tears flowing again. Feeling a pang of guilt for failing to protect her child.

Harry would tell her to try again because this wasn’t the first child they had lost. It was just the first one that stayed more than a week in her stomach after the procedure.

Unable to do anything other than sob, she hurried to their bedroom to drown her tears in a warm bath. Their room hadn’t changed much in five years, even though she spent more nights sleeping alone than she did with Harry at her side. Marie was filled with so much emotions in that moment. She wanted to throw something at the wall or smash something against someone’s head.

Just then, there was a buzzing sound from the cabinet beside the bed.

She reached for the cabinet and pulled it open. Harry’s tablet, a gift she bought for their previous anniversary, was nested there. The screen glowed with a notification alert for an Instagram post of Violet.

Marie’s heart dropped to her feet as she picked it up. Harry wasn’t even following her on Instagram but he had the notifications alert turned on for his childhood love and best friend. Marie unlocked the tablet to see what Violet had posted and if Harry had liked the post using his phone.

Marie bit her lips as she stared at the pictures. Her husband was in Violet’s house. He was on a ladder fixing a light bulb. The next picture was Harry tasting some cake that Violet had made. The last picture was Harry helping Violet’s child, Victoria, with her homework.

Violet had tagged the photo: The handiest man I know.

Marie raised the tablet to smash it but then, she dropped her hand and let it fall to the bed. Violet was her husband’s urgent business meeting. He had left her and their child for his lover. Marie pulled out her phone but then she dropped her phone as she reasoned. When had she ever achieved anything by yelling at him in the past six months that Violet had returned to their city as a single mother?

Marie grabbed the tablet and scrolled further down Violet’s page. There were so many pictures of Violet, Victoria and Harry. The picture that destroyed Marie was the picture of Harry holding Victoria’s hand on the street. Looking at the date of the post, it was the day she had the last miscarriage. He told her he was busy and only came by later that night claiming that he stopped by Violet’s briefly.

No wonder he never felt the pain she did. He had a whole other family. A child he could shower with love and a woman who doted on him affectionately while all she had were his thoughts and prayers.

She wasn’t in a marriage with Harry. No, she was married to his shadow that disappeared whenever Violet appeared, needing something as common as salt.

Marie placed the tablet back in the cabinet. She was done with this sham of a marriage.

It was time to give Harry a taste of his own medicine.