Would That We Had Never Met

I twisted my ankle and fell to my knees with the wine in my arms. My knees hurt terribly, but I didn't dare loosen my grip on the wine. Not even one bottle in this crate could I afford to break.

A flicker of complicated emotion flashed through Andre's eyes, then came his mocking words, "Josephine, you're just as cheap as your mother. Does she know you're here serving drinks?"

I limped back home and Cedric, my son, was still fast asleep.

Unlike when I left, now he was tightly hugging my pajamas, his little face buried in them, as if that was his only sense of safety.

A wave of bitterness rose in my chest. I leaned down and kissed his little face. Back then, everyone told me to abort the baby. But I didn't.

I was filled with hatred toward Andre, to the point I lost all reason. I wanted to give birth to the child and use him to torment Andre and then, years later, once he was married, I'd bring the child to him.

By then, his peaceful life would be completely turned upside down by me. I thought, if I couldn't have peace, neither should he.

But later, when the child was actually born, I just couldn't bring myself to hurt him. He was soft and squishy and every time he cried, my heart felt like it was being torn apart.

As he grew a little older, he would hug my legs, look up with innocent eyes and call me in that sweet voice, "Mommy." In those moments, all my hatred seemed to melt away.

So I changed his name from Aiden Hillsmith to Cedric Whiteley. What sin had an innocent child committed?

I no longer wanted to push him toward Andre. I wanted to hide him away and protect him from all harm and pain. But fate liked to play cruel jokes.

When Cedric was four, he was diagnosed with leukemia and had to go to the hospital regularly for blood transfusions.

The high cost of treatment had already drained my parents' savings and Cedric himself had grown thin and frail from the countless procedures. Life's suffering hadn't spared him, or me.

As I touched Cedric's thin cheeks, for the first time, I thought about sending him away.

Andre now looked like he had money and after all, no one's bone marrow would match better than a biological relative's. But … would he really be willing to save Cedric?

He hated me so much, hated my mom so much, would that hatred extend to Cedric too? I didn't dare gamble.

With that anxiety, I slowly closed my eyes. Ever since Mom died, I had nightmares every night, tonight was no exception.

Maybe it was because I had seen Andre again, but the images in my dream were especially vivid.

I was back on the day of the proposal, standing beneath the big screen, waiting for Andre's surprise. But he never came.

What came instead was a video suddenly playing on the big screen, drawing a crowd of onlookers.

I stared at those scenes and waves of humiliation, shame and disgrace all crashed over me. The stares from the crowd were like knives, stabbing countless bloody holes in me.

As my breathing grew more rapid, I heard the voices of my teachers and classmates.

"Josephine, given your current situation, the school believes it's best you take a break from your studies."

"Look, that's the girl. Pretty face, wild behavior, completely chaotic private life."

"Hehehe, do you think if I chase her, she'd sleep with me too?"

"So dirty. How did someone like her get into our school? She's a disgrace to all students."

"Sigh, we studied hard for twelve years to get into this top university and now the school's reputation is ruined by someone like her. One bad apple spoils the whole barrel."

…