Woke Up Lost, Became His Alpha Queen

Kaelen von Hellberg POV:

The self-loathing was a physical thing, a black oil slicking my throat. It tasted of the amber liquid in the tumbler and the ash of my own hypocrisy. My reflection stared back from the family portrait, a ghost haunting the space between my father’s iron will and my mother’s brittle smile. The boy I’d been was trapped behind the glass, his eyes already ancient. The man I’d become was a monster of his own making.

A soft sound from the hallway. A footstep.

I didn't move. My packhouse was a fortress of silence after dark, every guard trained to move like a shadow. This was different. Lighter. Hesitant.

The heavy oak of my study door didn’t creak, but the brass handle turned with a faint click that echoed the clinking of ice in my glass. The door opened a sliver.

It was her.

Sera. Elara. Whatever name I’d given the girl who was steadily unmaking me. She stood in the gap, a silhouette against the dim corridor light, wearing one of my shirts that fell to her knees like a child’s nightgown. Her bare feet were pale against the dark wood of the threshold.

My wolf rose, a predator stirring from a shallow sleep. Not with aggression. With recognition. The air grew thick, heavy with her scent—wild honey and something clean, like ozone after a storm. It was a scent that bypassed my lungs and went straight to my blood.

"You left," she said. Her voice was small, but it cut through the silence of the room.

I took a slow sip of the liquor. It burned, but not enough. "The dinner was over."

She took a step inside. "I was not finished."

"You were," I said, my voice flat. "Go back to your room."

She ignored the command. Her eyes, wide and dark in the low light, scanned the room—the leather-bound books, the unlit hearth, the portrait she couldn't possibly understand. They landed on me, and a flicker of something—not fear, but a deep, unnerving certainty—passed through them.

"This is where you hide."

I set the glass down on the mahogany desk with a sharp click. "This is where I work. Now, get out." The growl was there, a low rumble under the words, the Alpha's command coiled and ready to strike. It had no effect on her. None.

She took another step, then another, until she was standing on the priceless Aubusson rug in the center of the room. She looked so fragile, so breakable. A lie. Everything about her was a lie that my body insisted was truth.

"You were angry," she stated, her chin jutted out with a defiance that should have been suicidal. "Because of what I said. That you are different."

"I am not different," I bit out, my fists clenching at my sides. "I am exactly what you should fear. Go. To. Bed."

She shook her head, a slow, deliberate motion. Then she did the most baffling, infuriating thing. She sat down on the rug, right in the middle of the snarling dire wolf woven into the pattern, and patted the space beside her.

"Carry me," she repeated her demand from the solarium. "My legs are tired."

A breath hissed through my teeth. The audacity. The sheer, insane trust. My wolf was clawing at the inside of my ribs, not to attack her, but to obey her. To lay at her feet. The conflict was a physical agony. To deny her was to wound her. To indulge her was to lose myself.

I was already lost.

With a curse that was half a groan, I pushed away from the desk. I crossed the room in three long strides, my shadow falling over her. I meant to haul her to her feet, to drag her out if I had to. But when I looked down into her upturned face, my resolve crumbled to dust.

I scooped her into my arms. Again.

She sighed, a soft, contented sound, and wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her face against my shoulder. Her scent was a tidal wave. Honey. Storms. And her. Just her. It flooded my senses, silencing the voice of reason, amplifying the howl of the beast. My muscles locked, my jaw ached. I started walking, my steps stiff, mechanical. Each footfall was a battle.

Halfway down the hall, she shifted. "My head hurts," she mumbled against my skin, her voice thick with irritation. "It's fuzzy."

"It's the wine," I said, my own voice a rasp.

"No. It's... loud." She squirmed, then lifted her head. Her eyes were unfocused, her brow furrowed in pain. And then, in a movement that was part petulance, part instinct, she leaned in and nipped me.

A playful, frustrated bite.

On my throat. Right over the artery. A hair's breadth from the marking gland.

Fire.

Not heat. Pure, white-hot, elemental fire shot from that single point of contact through every vein in my body. My muscles seized. My spine arched. A sound was ripped from my throat, a guttural snarl that was not human, not even wolf, but something older, deeper. Primal.

My wolf roared in my mind, a single, deafening word that obliterated everything else.

*Mine.*

The Mating Frenzy. It was here. It was happening. Her scent was no longer just a scent; it was a command. Her body in my arms was no longer a burden; it was a claim. The urge to turn, to slam her against the wall, to sink my teeth into that perfect, pale skin and mark her, own her, ruin her—it was absolute.

Her eyes went wide with shock, finally seeing the predator she had so blithely trusted.

With the last shred of my control, I turned, not towards the wall, but towards her room. I moved with a speed that was no longer human, my heart hammering a frantic, brutal rhythm against my ribs. I had to get her away. I had to lock the door. I had to save her from the monster she had just unleashed.

I practically threw her into her room, her body landing on the soft mattress with a gasp. I didn't see her face, didn't dare to look. I slammed the door, the sound of the heavy oak booming in the hallway. I fumbled with the lock, my hands shaking violently, and turned the key.

The click of the bolt sliding home was the sound of a guillotine.

I fled.

My body was a furnace, my blood boiling. I stumbled through the corridors, my vision blurring at the edges. I couldn't go back to my study. I couldn't be near anything that was mine, because my wolf was screaming that *she* was mine. There was only one place. One cure.

I burst into the small, private chapel at the heart of the packhouse. The air was cold, smelling of stone and old wax. I slammed the door behind me, ramming the thick iron bolt across it. I was panting, my back pressed against the wood, my claws digging into the ancient oak.

*Go back. Take her. Claim what is ours.*

"No," I gasped to the silent, watching saints carved into the walls.

My legs gave out. I crawled to the stone altar, my body convulsing with the need. The urge. My hands, trembling, found the hidden seam in the marble. I pried it open. Inside, nestled on a bed of black velvet, was a silver flask, intricately chased with thorns and nightshade.

Wolfsbane and silver nitrate. A poison designed to kill the beast within. A poison that could kill the man, too.

I didn't hesitate. I ripped the cork out with my teeth and threw my head back, pouring the viscous, metallic-tasting liquid down my throat.

The agony was immediate. It was like swallowing molten lead. The silver burned through my system, a fire fighting a fire. My body arched back in a silent scream. Black spots danced in my vision. The wolfsbane attacked my senses, my strength, turning my own Lycan nature against me. My wolf howled in outrage and pain inside my head, a death cry. I collapsed against the altar, gasping, sweat pouring from me, the cold stone a shock against my burning skin.

Slowly, agonizingly, the primal heat began to recede. The fire in my blood cooled to embers, then to ash. The all-consuming need to claim, to mark, to possess, was replaced by a chilling, hollow emptiness.

I pushed myself up, my limbs trembling with a weakness that felt worse than the pain. I looked at my hands. They were pale, unsteady. The hands that had almost destroyed her.

The choice was no longer a choice. It was a sentence.

I drew a ragged breath, the acrid taste of the potion still coating my tongue. I spoke the words into the cold, sacred silence of the chapel, a vow made to the shadows.

"Harlan," I said, my voice a raw whisper. "Arrange the transport. She leaves tomorrow."

I stood there in the absolute silence, the empty silver flask clutched in my white-knuckled hand. The scent of wolfsbane hung in the air, a chemical shroud. On my face was not grief, not anger, but the grim, dead certainty of a man who had just cut out his own heart to stop it from beating.