When I Devoted Myself to Science

Decision

My leader came to see me while I was hospitalized, and he lamented, "You can't work at the frontlines anymore, Jonathan. Not with that body."

I shook my head, smiling. "It's alright. Logistics is important too."

My leader nodded. "Glad to hear the optimism." He took out a file from his suitcase and handed it to me. "This is the state's latest research. It's about microchips. I saved a spot for you. Think about it."

I went through the file carefully and said yes to the offer. My leader grasped my hand, excited. "Marvelous. With you in our team, Jonathan, this research won't fail! But… you'll be gone for six whole years. Are you sure your partner's fine with it?"

I nodded. "She will be. I'm serving the nation here. She'll understand."

The leader patted my shoulder. "Good to know. The clock is ticking, so you'll only have one month to say your goodbyes. That enough for you?"

I nodded, a dry smile curling my lips. "More than enough."

He thought I didn't want to say goodbye to Lorelei, and once again, he lamented, "Sorry to put you through this. You've only been married for a short time, and now you're going into an LDR. Just… get some rest. This can wait until you're out of the hospital."

My leader left, and my doctor came to inform me about my discharge and what to look out for during recovery.

…

On the day of my discharge, I found out Lorelei was defending her actions. She was even putting in formal complaints, too.

"In the face of danger, everyone is equal. You can't punish me just because I chose not to save Jonathan!"

The leaders ignored her tantrum and kicked her out of the room. I just got home, and she was already storming up to me.

"Unbelievable! I saved Felix! I did nothing wrong! They're terminating me just because I didn't save you!"

She shoved me. "Are you blind? I. Am. Not. Happy. At. All! What are you, dead? Get me some water!"

The old me would've patiently cooed at her like she was a child and put in a good word with her leader.

The new me would not do that. I ignored her and kept on packing my stuff. "You can get the water yourself. Not like you don't have arms."

Lorelei rolled her eyes at me and fetched some water. "Felix is sick. No one's there for him, so I'll have to stay around for a couple of days."

"Sure."

She froze. She didn't expect me to agree that easily, so she let up a little. "Stop throwing a tantrum. We're just friends. Besides, you're a soldier. It's your job to care about others first. I'm just helping you out here."

I was still packing my stuff. Coolly, I answered, "Of course."

Only now did Lorelei realize I was packing things up. "Why are you packing up?"

"The seasons are changing. I need to clean the place up."

"Fine. See you around."

I used to fight with her all the time whenever she came up with new excuses to see Felix. She would end the argument by saying that soldiers should put others first.

This time, I couldn't care less about her excuses. Once she was gone, I grabbed the train ticket from the table. It was so obvious, but she didn't even notice it.

Well, she didn't care about anyone or anything besides Felix, let alone me. I put the divorce papers on the table and left the house with my suitcase in tow.

If she cared about Felix so much, I didn't mind giving them the space they needed. I'd just quit this relationship.