When I Decided to Love Him

Perhaps it was the embarrassment, or maybe it was the chagrin that left me feeling so deflated.

On the way home from the hospital, I rested my head against the car window, giving off the vibe of a "bitter heroine".

Zoe sent me messages on WhatsApp asking how things were going.

I had nothing to offer in response except a string of ellipses.

After Caleb dropped me off at home, he reminded me to take a shower.

In the rush of the moment, I had only rinsed off and hurried on.

I looked at him with a tinge of despondency, caught between wanting to say something and knowing it was better to remain silent.

Some moments, once broken, lose their charm when you try to rekindle them.

I nodded, got out of his car, and melted into the night without a backward glance.

-

Two days later, Zoe was discharged from the hospital and called me for a pick-up.

I asked, "Where's Caleb? Why not have him pick you up?"

"He's on a business trip."

"Oh..."

Zoe picked up on my dejection and asked with concern, "What's wrong? Did Caleb turn you down?"

"No... but it's almost the same."

If he had been interested, he would have messaged after I'd made my move the other day.

I had to admit that Caleb was proving to be more of a challenge than I had expected.

"Your brother is such a tough nut to crack, I'm throwing in the towel."

"That's not an option. I've even practiced washing my hair upside down in anticipation. You can't give up now," she retorted.

"..."

I had never seen anyone so eager to perform a handstand hair wash.

Then Zoe added, "Just wait, I'll do some snooping for you."

Before I could respond, she hung up.

I couldn't help but think that the situation wasn't going to improve.

The reason Caleb joined me at the hot spring and shared that kiss with me may have been because he had a "why not take what is readily offered" attitude.

However, two minutes later, Zoe sent me a screenshot of her conversation with Caleb.

Zoe: [What the hell do you think about my friend?]

Caleb: [?]

Zoe: [If you don't like her, just say no, don't leave her hanging.]

Caleb: [Am I that kind of person to you?]

Zoe: [You're not exactly known for being nice.]

Caleb: [I'm not leaving her hanging.]

Zoe: [Then what the hell do you mean?]

Caleb didn't respond.

Zoe took his silence as a clear sign that Caleb was interested in me as well.

I scoffed.

His method of showing interest was certainly unique, to say the least.

I decided to give it one more try with him. If things didn't work out this time, I resolved to walk away on my own terms.

-

The day Caleb returned from his business trip, Zoe informed me right away.

Without delay, I sent Caleb a message on WhatsApp: [I haven't thanked you yet for taking me to the hospital to see my dad last time. Let me buy you dinner as a thank you].

Caleb: [Okay.]

I was about to send him the location of a restaurant when he sent another message: [How about coming to my house for a meal?]

[?] I can't cook!

Caleb: [I'm exhausted from the trip and need to catch up on some sleep. You go to the supermarket to get the ingredients, and when I wake up from my nap, I'll cook.]

I truly wanted to remind him that it seemed odd for me to treat him and thank him by going to his house and having him do the cooking.

But the lure of spending time with him was too strong, and despite the impropriety, I decided to play along.

Soon, I received a location from Caleb, different from the place I'd visited to pick up Zoe's clothes last time.

I forwarded it to Zoe and asked about the house.

Zoe: [It's the house Caleb lives in alone. How do you know that?]

It didn't matter how I knew. All that mattered was that I was eager to head to the grocery store, grab the ingredients, and rush over to his place!