When Everything Is Broken And Torn

This was something I saved money for a long time before I could afford it.

But I didn’t say anything else and watched Bernard take my medicine calmly and numbly and gave it to Hanley.

After becoming a housewife, I had no income, so I could only ask Bernard for money.

Firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea were all expenses, but Bernard always disliked me for spending money lavishly and asked him for money at every turn.

I had lived like this for twenty years, relying on humbly pleasing people. I didn’t want to go on like this anymore. I wanted to end this humble life.

I went back to my room, checked my phone and typed the divorce agreement word by word on the computer.

Tears fell one by one and I couldn’t stop them.

Bernard sent Hanley away and pushed the door open.

He rolled his eyes impatiently at my tear-stained face.

“Crying again? Hadley, can you stop being unreasonable? It’s just a little supplement, why do you care? Or are you jealous of Hanley again?”

I ignored him and Bernard became more and more irritated.

He came over and patted my face full of fat.

“Look at how fat you are? There is so much nutrition, what can you supplement? Hanley earns 137,000 dollars a year but doesn’t want to buy supplements worth thousands of dollars, but you bought them without hesitation. You really enjoy more and don’t understand the hard work of making money. Can you understand me? Why don’t you learn to be considerate from Hanley? I was really stupid at the beginning, so I broke up with Hanley and married you…”

Bernard became more and more angry, pointing at my nose and finally swallowed the last few hurtful words.

I lowered my head in thought.

I didn’t say that I gained 80 kilograms in the past 20 years because I was overworked.

I ate leftovers, worked from dawn to dusk and served as a nanny for the family.

I never bought bags or jewelry, never went out for travel or shopping and wore a 2.75 dollars down jacket for ten winters.

So this was what Bernard meant by “seeking pleasure”?

Bernard stood there with his arm raised and when he saw that I didn’t move for a long time, he narrowed his eyes unhappily.

“What are you doing? Come here.”

He wanted me to help him change his clothes.

It had been like this for 20 years. As time went by, I knew what to do as soon as he raised his hand.

But today, I just didn’t want to move.

I sat on the edge of the bed in a daze, my eyes sore.

“Have you had enough of the trouble? When you were young, you were so cute and I let you do whatever you wanted. Hadley, you were a cute little girl, how old are you now? You should understand clearly that you are now an old woman!”

Bernard scratched his hair irritably and pulled me up by my collar.

***

“Marry me, Hadley. I will charge ahead and you will take care of the rest. We will rely on each other and be each other’s harbor. We will walk hand in hand for the rest of our lives.”

At that time, Bernard and Hanley had reached the stage of discussing marriage. I couldn’t tell for a moment whether he wanted to marry me because he liked me or because he was angry with Hanley.

He kissed me more deeply.

“Because you are gentle and considerate, virtuous and housekeeping and sensible and sensible. Hadley, after so many times of breaking up and getting back together with Hanley, I realized that I was not suitable for her. I still love you the most.”

Bernard stared into my eyes, every word was sincere and I was drunk in the stars in his eyes.

Twenty years of drunken dream.

The gentleness and virtue of the past had now become clumsy.

It was time for me to wake up.

Virtuous, housekeeping, sensible and sensible were never commendatory words from my point of view. They benefited others, but not myself.

Bernard married me with a blatant conspiracy from the beginning.

Because of a few sweet words, I willingly gave in and retreated to the family.

I kept listening to his praises for me for twenty years and year after year I became an old woman.

And Hanley was still bright and unrestrained, stirring up the storm in the workplace.

With me taking care of the family, Bernard could devote himself to his career and fight hand in hand with Hanley to dominate the business world.

Bernard was really good at calculating.

He simply married me, wasted twenty years of my life and paved the way for his ladder to heaven.

The phone in my trouser pocket suddenly vibrated and I hesitated.

How many years had it been since someone sent me a message?