Until I Disappear

Zach left with Monette.

I stood outside and leaned against the wall. I could not quite catch my breath.

I received a message notification on my phone, and it was from Monette.

[I win. Just you watch. I’ll take everything you own.]

I turned my phone off after I took one look at the message. Then, I entered the house.

All of the furniture had been moved out, and the floor was filled with holes. A few buckets of unopened paint sat in a corner of the balcony. They were all pink—the color Monette liked.

The house was empty. Nothing was left.

The bay window I loved and had installed in the bedroom had been smashed to pieces. The floral-patterned tablecloth I loved had been thrown into the trash can. The curtains I had chosen meticulously with Zach lay alone in the trash can downstairs as well.

No one cared about it anymore.

I walked around the house and finally realized the truth.

After taking one last look at my former house from the door, I left the place.

Once I returned to the mansion, I looked at the furniture there and remembered what Monette said.

I immediately contacted a recycling company and got rid of all the furniture Monette mentioned.

These were my final days. I did not want anything to impact my mood anymore.

By the time I saw the recycling company off, it was already midnight.

I was sweating from all the activity as I lay on the carpet. I felt unprecedentedly light.

My time drew closer day by day, but I became calmer.

As I took more painkillers, the days I remained awake grew fewer.

Suddenly, one day, I became filled with energy.

I contacted a postman and handed him two document folders.

One of them was for Susan. In it were some instructions and a checklist for all of my assets.

The other one was for Zach. It contained a divorce agreement, which I had already signed.

Even if I was going to die, I still wanted to sever all ties with him.

Since we did not want to see each other, there was no need for us to meet for this.

Besides, I knew that he would definitely sign the papers.

Once I was done with everything, I sat in the courtyard to sunbathe.

The weather was nice, and my mood became much better.

When I saw how pale my face was, I decided to put on some lipstick.

While I was searching for my lipstick in my bedroom, I found my old diary.

It had been forgotten in the depths of the drawer, and there was already a layer of dust on it.

I flipped it open and found that it recorded my relationship with Zach.

I wrote about how we grew to love each other, how he had awkwardly confessed to me, how we dated while studying in university, how we started a business, built a company, and how Zach made it bigger and better…

I wrote a lot for each entry. As I read through them, I smiled.

However, the entries grew shorter the further I got into the diary. Then, in the last entry, I only wrote one sentence.

[He’s not back today again.]

I took a look at the date. It was dated a few years ago.

From that day on, I no longer had the habit of writing in my diary. The diary itself was also forgotten.

I sat in front of my table. After a few seconds of hesitation, I picked up my pen again.

When I finished, the sun was already setting.

My stomach started hurting again, and I popped a few painkillers with familiar ease.

As I lay on the carpet, the medicine seemed to be taking effect. My pain gradually faded away, and my body felt light as well.

In my daze, I thought I saw an eighteen-year-old Zach running toward me.

It was snowing, and his nose was red from the cold, but he was still smiling.

He extended his hand to me with shining eyes.

As I looked at him, I placed my hand in his, and we ran together toward the snow.