Too Late to Love Him Back

Maybe I'd cried myself out, because a heavy drowsiness swept over me.

That was when Olivia wrapped her arms around me from behind.

"Babe, that was my fault just now. I said things too harshly. I'm sorry, okay? Don't be mad at me. Work's just been so stressful for me lately."

I gave a low murmur of acknowledgment and said nothing more.

She pulled me tighter, pressing her face into my neck.

"Babe, can I tell you something?"

"Mm."

I answered softly, doing my best to hide the crack in my voice.

"There's this overseas order that came up, so I have to fly out tomorrow on short notice. Those two movie tickets you got probably won't get used now. Why don't you go by yourself, okay? I'll send you some money. Go out tomorrow night and have fun with your friends."

I asked, not understanding.

"What order's so urgent? Isn't tomorrow the weekend?"

Olivia explained.

"Nothing I can do. That's what the client wants. You take someone's order, you take care of them the way they ask."

"Don't worry, babe. If it's quick, three or four days. If it runs long, maybe about a week and I'll be back. I'm going with my secretary. Don't worry."

By the end, her expression wavered a little. She wouldn't look at me, and her voice dropped a notch or two.

Every year our anniversary fell right up against my birthday. I wanted to remind her that tomorrow was my birthday.

But the words got to the edge of my tongue and I held them back. All I said was,

"Sure. Got it."

Seeing that I understood, Olivia was very pleased. She turned on me like fire, wanting to burn me down to nothing.

In the old days, I would've rolled over and thrown myself at her without a second thought.

But this time, something inside me wouldn't let me do it. That strange smell on her made my stomach turn. I gently pulled free of her.

"It's really late. Let's sleep."

She held me all night long, as if holding me could paper over her guilt.

But I couldn't forget what had happened in that office. Once she was deep asleep, I worked my way out of her arms.

Early the next morning she got up fast, washed, dressed, planted a kiss on my face while I was still half asleep, and hurried out the door.

Today was my twenty-eighth birthday. I got up and cooked myself a bowl of birthday noodles, sitting alone at the table, eating in the quiet.

I ran back through all the little moments the two of us had shared, imagining she might still turn back. If she really could turn back, I'd treat all of this like it never happened.

Thinking that, I called her with that hope in me. I needed to have a real talk with her.

"Hello?"

A man's voice came through from the other end. I knew that voice. It was Evan Harding, Olivia's close male friend.

Olivia had never saved my number. Back then, to please me, she'd said she could recite my number backward, that there was no point saving it, that if she saved it she was afraid she'd forget it over time.

The small flame of my hope shrank lower and lower. For a moment I couldn't speak, and I had no idea what I would even say to this man.

"Hello? Can you hear me? Why aren't you saying anything?"

Evan's voice came again.

After checking a few more times, he must have decided the signal was bad, because with a click he seemed to set the phone down somewhere. But the call stayed connected the whole time.

Olivia's voice came through from the other end.

"Who was it?"

"No idea. Feels like a spam call. Not anyone you know. No name saved..."

"Okay, baby, forget about them. Keep telling me your plan."

"Okay. This time we took a whole week off, so we've got plenty of time. First we can go to the Charleston gardens and the Savannah riverfront district. I hear it's gorgeous there, perfect for couples..."

"After that we can hit Asheville's lakeside park, the botanical gardens, Lake Norman, all these spots. We can even set aside two days to go out to the Carolina coast."

Olivia said, laughing,

"The spots aren't what matter. What matters is you and me..."

Hearing that, I slowly lowered the phone, swallowing back all the things I'd wanted to say to Olivia, and the wet shine at the corners of my eyes slid down again, no matter how I tried to stop it.