Too Late for Regrets

Why should my death be delayed? The earlier it comes, the better for me. I thought as my mind went back to the medical report drilling a hole in my purse. Maybe things would not have gotten this bad between Gavin and if I had come into my wolf at my eighteenth birthday. But the Moon Goddess had joined others to plot against me. The ordinarily sad day had become sadder. It was already sad because each birthday I had after my parents’ death was spent in sorrow of their loss. I had hoped to come into my wolf and probably connect with them or do something special for our pack. But No, I was condemned to be wolfless, a reproach to our pack and an additional burden to my brother, who became the alpha of our pack two years ago when he came into his wolf. He had been tolerating me since our parents’ death but he let go of his restraints on my eighteenth birthday. I entered my den in the forest as I relived the saddest day of my life.

I had heard loud banging on my door and my brother burst into my room without waiting for me to invite him in. he checked my hair and my hands, looking any sign of my wolf. The disappointed look I saw in his eyes still bore into my soul, even now.

“Akira, you are wolfless?” I nodded in affirmation, there was nothing to say.

“That confirms it. You are cursed. I don’t have a sister like you.” He concluded.

“Gavin, I am sorry.” I started but he cut me off.

“I am your alpha and you will address me so!”

“I am sorry, alpha.” I corrected myself.

He turned his back at me, moved towards the door and said.

“Akira, your presence in this pack is a constant reminder of our weakness and failure. We cannot add your being a reproach to that list. You are banished from Prime pack.” He concluded, opened the door and left.

I was too stunned to talk. My brother banished me? Because I was wolfless? Something I had no control over. The only person I have left in the world has turned his back at me. I packed few of my things and left. I had walked for days before discovering this den in the woods, between our pack and the boundary of Crescent pack, our ally. This is where I have been staying for the past one year. Sorrow, shame, sadness and pain were my daily companion, this was why I did not realize that I had cancer until recently.

I sat down on the hay that served as bed in my den and brought out the medical report. I read it again. I had few months left to live. What should I do? Shouldn’t my only relative know of my plight? The words of Gavin came back to me: I don’t have a sister like you.

An anger rose in me at the unfairness of it all. Did I want my parents to die? Did I not want to come into my wolf? Did I want to live such a miserable life like this? They were not my choice! They were forced on me.

I stormed out of my den with the medical report in my hand. Whatever would happen can never be worse than what had already happened to me. I know it’s my brother’s birthday today. And I will give him a special gift, one he would be happy about, a permanent removal of his reproach.

Lively music was blaring from the throne room on my arrival to the pack. Alpha Gavin’s birthday party was in full swing. I saw our kitchen omegas, bearing heavily-laden trays of food and drinks into the throne room. My mouth salivated at the divers aroma of food fighting for recognition in my nose. I sniffed deeply, storing the aroma up for later use.The omegas ignored as if they did not recognize me. No problem, I would soon disappear from their lives anyway.

My cousin, Lylah, came out giggling on my brother’s arms. I saw a claim mark on her neck. Could it be? Has my brother claimed my cousin as his mate? I looked at Gavin, giddy with love and happiness, as he looked at Lylah adorably. My heart knotted in me and I gulped. That was how my brother used to look at me.

“What are you doing here?” My brother growled at me, the love in eyes replaced with terrible hatred. I almost wet my pant, but summoned courage, knowing this would be our last meeting.

“I came to give you my last birthday gift.” Lylah gasped, her hand flew to her mouth.

“Akira, you can not curse your brother. He has been so nice to you.”

“Can a Curse have the privilege of cursing another?” I thrust the medical report into my brother’s hand and turned to leave.

I heard the rustling of paper as he threw the envelope back at me.

“What insolence!” He snarled at me. “You were not invited in the first place. You have no place here now and in the future. Crawl back to the hole you came out from!”

I was hoping to gain his sympathy for the last time. How could my darling brother ignore his dying little sister. Gavin beckoned on two enforcers nearby.

“Throw this wolfless thing outside our border. If you see her near the border…”

I did not hear the rest of the instructions because as the enforcer pushed me, I fell down and fainted.

I woke up shivering. I tried to open my eyes but the headache was splitting. I struggle to a sitting position and realise I am really wet and cold. Who poured water on me? I open my eyes slowly to know where exactly I am. The pack doctor glared at me. I was back in his clinic.

“Akira, I told you to rest and take care of your body. How can you take such risks with your body condition?”

Though I don't understand what risk he was talking about. I perfectly understand one thing, I am not yet dead. And, I need someone to pour my annoyance upon, just like they poured water on me to bring me back to life. Theo Griffith was the perfect scapegoat. I glared at him and snarled. “Why did you bring me back? You should have left me to die!” I said and threw myself at him.