They Ate Me Alive, But I Was Their Lifeline

When I was barely hanging on, nobody gave a damn about me. I mean, not about me—not my safety, not how I felt. All they cared about was how I might embarrass them.

I didn't even rank higher than her dog in my mom's eyes. I remember just slipping into this deep sleep and all the wanting, all the aching I had for their affection... It just disappeared.

I was done. I didn't want it anymore.

When I woke up in the hospital, the room was empty. Of course, it was. I should've been used to that by then, but honestly, it still stung.

I pulled the IV out like it was nothing, reached for my phone, and for the first time in years, I called my dad. I don't even know why I did it. Maybe I was still hoping, even after everything.

His voice, when he answered, wasn't concerned. It wasn't even curious. Just pissed, like I was a chore he couldn't wait to get rid of. "Get out of the hospital already! Do you even want us to come fetch you?"

I laughed. I couldn't help it. I thought about how Ginny scraped her knee once, and they acted like the world was ending. But me? I could be dying, and they'd probably still tell me to get over it. She's always been the favorite!

So I just asked him straight, "Dad, I want to go abroad. Can I borrow some money?"

He paused. I could hear the surprise in his silence, but it didn't last long. He said yes, really fast. "Yeah, I can cover that," he said. Honestly, that's a wise decision. Oh, you don't know how much trouble you've brought into this family. Finally, you're doing us a favor!"

I smiled through it. I should've felt crushed, but all I felt was relief.

I didn't even go back home. I just got on the first flight out and slept for hours on the plane, feeling like I was finally free.

But when I landed and turned my phone back on, it was blowing up with missed calls and texts. I knew something was wrong. The notifications kept coming, and I saw Dad's message: [Call me right now]. Then another. And another.

I knew what it was about. I knew before I even hit dial. When he answered, his voice was frantic. "Your mom and Charlie... they've both been rushed to the ER! They need your bone marrow! You must come back right now!"

I couldn't believe it. My brother, too? How was I supposed to deal with that? Like, me? Take care of both of them? After everything?

I didn't say anything, and he started losing it. "If you don't come back, I'll cancel your card! You'll be out there alone, and if you die, nobody's coming to claim your body!"

That's when I started laughing again. Tears were running down my face, but I was laughing because it was just... ridiculous. After everything they'd done, after all the abuse, that was what we'd end up with: they wanted me back but threatened me if I didn't.

And I finally said it. "What a pity. Sorry, Dad, but I don't save devils."

And I hung up. It was the bravest thing I'd done in years.