The Wind Between Our Goodbye

I dialed a number that I had not rang up in a long time.

"Professor Gold, can I still come back?" I asked anxiously.

Back then, Professor Barbara Gold had been very optimistic about me, strongly urging me to stay on for postgraduate studies and join her research team. Alas, I had let her down.

After asking about my reason, she said with a sigh, "I've long said it before. True love will be in your future, not stand in the way of it."

She added, "Yes, you may, but you need to pass an assessment, which is happening next month."

I agreed to it without any hesitation.

That night, just another night that Xander did not come home, I no longer tossed and turned in waiting for him.

I slept until dawn, then began my revision.

Who knew that waking up with hope would feel so good, compared to losing sleep over a man?

I thought that Xander would not come back so soon.

That night, he entered the house, looking tired. He stuffed something soft into my arms.

"Your three-year-anniversary gift."

It was a penguin plush toy.

Just like all the other incidents before, when he stood me up just for Josie, he did not explain himself or apologize. All I got were these vague, half-hearted gestures of reconciliation.

The penguin was still warm. I touched the little gift tag attached to it, saw that it said 'Free Gift', and felt my heart go cold.

"No need."

I did not need any gifts from him, nor were we ever going to celebrate our anniversaries anymore.

He was a little stunned, then annoyed.

"Josephine, can you stop being so petty? Josie has been a good friend of mine for many years. She returned to the country after a heartbreak. I can't just abandon her. Can you stop making such a fuss?"

My fingers unconsciously stroked the plush toy in my arms. I felt a small, fine ache coursing through my heart.

He seemed to have forgotten that I liked penguins, too. After moving to Lucerno, I had brought it up with me many times that I wanted to head to the local aquarium to see penguins.

He was a workaholic, so he never had the time for me.

All it took was one word from Josie, and he would drop everything to accompany her to Antartrica.

It seemed it was not that he did not have the time. He just did not want to spend it on me.

He thought that I had compromised, yet again, when he saw my silence. He patted my head.

"I'm hungry."

These words used to be like a switch. Once he said them, I would put everything down and whip up something for him in the kitchen.

After everything that happened, though, the warmth I once believed to be happiness was nothing more than an illusion.

I replied indifferently, "I'm tired. I don't want to cook."

He was a little taken aback, a frown forming in his brows. The next second, as if giving in, he pulled me into his arms.

"In that case, I'll eat you."

His warm breath brushed against my ear. His kiss fell, lingering all the way to my lips.

He knew I lacked love. He knew I was most addicted to his warmth. He also knew that just like before, I was easily coaxed.

My body shuddered instinctively, but I pushed him away. My heart had turned cold–how could I still give myself to him?

I turned and picked up the divorce papers.

"You said that you'd sign them once you return. Please sign here."

His expression finally darkened. He snapped, "If Josie hadn't been so kind to ask me to not argue with you, do you think I'd return so soon? You're almost thirty, yet you still act like a little girl getting all jealous.

"You're really getting more shameless and brazen. You think you can threaten me with divorce? Let me show you what it means to have this backfire on you."

He signed hard on the papers, almost tearing through them. Then, he used his phone and booked a divorce date.

"It's a month later. I dare you not to beg me to cancel the divorce at the city hall."

Then, he entered the guest bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Josie updated her social media.

[Back from Antartrica. I'm fully revived! Thank you to my knight in shining armor who always pampers me like a little girl.]

She looked radiant in her selfies.

Looking at the 28-year-old self in the mirror, I looked haggard. My hair was dull and lifeless.

In fact, I was three years younger than Josie, yet in Xander's eyes, she was the one who needed to be pampered.

That made sense.

The right kind of love nourished quietly, like gentle rain. The wrong kind of love destroyed just as quietly.

Thankfully, this mistake was about to end.

Xander started giving me the cold shoulder. He got home later and later, entering directly into the guest bedroom every time without saying a single word to me.

In the past, I was always the one who apologized first. I was not going to give in this time.

Josie's social media always had him daily. The photos and captions were way beyond a normal friendship; it was borderline flirtatious.

Unlike before, however, they did not drive me mad with pain. I merely dimmed my screen and looked at my notebook covered in my handwriting.

My life no longer revolved around him, and I had lots of free time because of that. Besides revising, I went out and explored different places.

That evening, I reserved a table at the La Perle de L'Orient Tower rotating restaurant. While dining there, the restaurant slowly rotates, offering a panoramic view of a dazzling corner of the city.

It was such a romantic place. I had once wanted to come here with Xander, but he was always busy.

After living for seven years in this city, my checklist still had far too many unfinished items.

Before leaving, I decided to complete them. Alone.

Little did I expect to bump into the last people I wanted to see at the restaurant.