The Whole Family Doesn't Love Me

When I was very young, I didn't realize that my parents were biased.

I remembered that my family had always been poor, so my brother and I didn't seem to get much extra favor in material things compared to me. Although life was difficult at that time, I felt that my parents loved me and my brother equally.

When I was a child, I always wore shabby clothes and was teased. My mom told me not to compare myself with others in terms of food and clothing, but to compare myself with them in terms of studying.

I took this sentence to heart at a young age and studied particularly hard, so I was always at the top of the class from childhood.

But when my parents talked about me to others, they always said, "A girl having good grades when she is young is useless. She can only study hard, but won't be able to do anything in the future. Unlike her brother, he is smart. Although he is not good at studying now, he will be able to achieve great things in the future."

Relatives all nodded in agreement, except for my aunt, who always had a disdainful look on her face.

At that time, I didn't understand the hidden meaning of my parents' words. I just thought that I wasn't doing well enough, so I studied even harder.

It wasn't until when I went to the high school that I found out my parents were biased. They spent a lot of money and went to great lengths to send my brother, who was doing poorly in his studies, to the best high school in the area and enrolled him in various special classes. On the other hand, even though I could have attended the best high school in the county based on my grades, my dad insisted on sending me to another high school in a rural town. It was only because that rural high school promised to waive my tuition for three years, and also provide me with an additional 200 dollars in monthly living expenses based on my good grades.

Mom and Dad told me that it was because I was smart and a good student, and that I could get into a good college anywhere. But if they didn't send my brother to a good school or enroll him in special classes, he wouldn't be able to get into college. And since I had grown up, I should reduce the burden on the family. Other girls from other families had already graduated from junior high and gone south to work. I should be grateful that they were willing to send me to high school.

At that time, I felt uncomfortable but I also felt that what they said made sense. I should depend on myself to study and I should help to reduce the burden on my family.

Later, when I could go to a prestigious university outside the province, my dad secretly took the offer of a local university for me, claiming that he didn't want me, a girl, to be too far away from home and that the family would worry.

In college, my brother received monthly living expenses of 5000 dollars, while I only had 800 dollars. They said, "Your brother is a boy. He eats more and spends more. As a girl, why do you need so much money? If you really don't have enough, find a rich boyfriend."

I finally realized that my brother and I were different in my parents' eyes, so I consciously distanced myself from my family. Even though the university was very close to home, I hardly ever went back home in four years and chose to work part-time instead. And they stopped giving me living expenses after that argument I had with them.

After graduating from college, I went to the big city I had always wanted to go to without hesitation.

Because I had just graduated and had no savings, I shared a basement with my classmate. After eating instant noodles for a month, I finally received an offer from a prestigious company. The grievances after graduation were temporarily diluted by the joy of finding a job, and I was so excited that I wanted to call my family and tell them the news.

The phone rang for a long time, and my joy gradually cooled down in the beeping sound. Before I could speak after the call was connected, I heard my dad's cold voice, "I have no money. Don't come to me!" Then he hung up the phone.

After that, I never took the initiative to call home again. Of course, they never called me either.

But they made an urgent call that day.