The Void of Love: Living Without Her

In the evening, I looked at the pinhole with blood on my chest.

I felt helpless.

After that day, I stopped taking fertility decoctions.

Recently, I had been absent-minded a lot. Sometimes, I would wonder, Am I really wrong?

A lady, who was on good terms with me, advised me.

"Your husband is so handsome and capable. What's there for you to be dissatisfied with?

"He doesn't have any concubines, and he respects you. He even lets you be his only child's legitimate mother.

"You don't know how jealous I am towards you. You know, my husband has taken six concubines already.

"What do you think we women want the most? It's our men's love and our status. You already have both, so you should be content."

I asked myself in my heart, Should I be content?

I was a bit confused.

One morning, I took the initiative to present my respects to Cheryl.

Just as I walked to the door, I saw a joyful scene inside.

Doran had an innocent smile on his face as he asked Armand, "Dad, why can't Mom sit next to me?"

Armand replied in a gentle tone, "Doran, there is also a hierarchy in a family. Your mom can't sit with us."

But Doran pouted, "Dad, just let Mom sit. She's been standing all the time. She must be very tired."

Armand was somewhat moved.

Cheryl laughed loudly, "Good, good, good. Doran is filial. We surely can get another pair of tableware for your mom. Estelle, just sit down."

"Thank you, Madam Alwyn."

The four of them were like a harmonious family.

Estelle served dishes for Armand, and Armand ladled soup for Estelle.

There was an indescribable tacit understanding between the two of them.

No one noticed me standing outside the room.

I returned to my place in a daze and sat there all afternoon.

When night fell, I finally came to my senses.

I stood up and went to find Armand.

I had a lot to ask Armand about.

But when I got to Armand's place, I saw Estelle leaning against Armand's chest.

Estelle looked up at Armand with tenderness in her eyes and said, "Armand, thank you for giving me and Doran a home."

Armand smiled, "This is what I should do. You don't need to thank me."

Then, he seemed to have thought of me and sighed, "Although Mildred is my wife, she is more like my aide. There is not that much love between us."

Estelle giggled and asked, "Then what about me?"

Armand pinched Estelle's nose gently and said, "You're quite attractive to me, especially in bed. I can't have enough of it..."

"Stop it, Armand!"

Estelle blushed and buried her head in Armand's arms, giggling with happiness.

But I felt so chill in my heart.

I didn't need to ask Armand anything anymore.

I had already understood everything.

After I returned to my room, I instructed, "Brenda, go to the temple and invite Master Alvarez over."

Before Alvarez arrived, Armand got the news and came first.

"Mildred? Are you doing those superstitious things again?

"Are you doing this because you're angry with me? Trying to get my attention?"

I looked at Armand's exceptionally handsome face and saw impatience in his eyes.

There was no deep affection in his eyes as he had for Estelle.

It was not until now that I noticed he no longer loved me.

I said calmly, "Didn't you ask me to calm down? I've already calmed down.

"I agree to let you marry Estelle."

Hearing my words, Armand had a moment of astonishment.

I thought he would happily accept. But he actually refused.

"I promised you that I'll never take any concubines."