The Tapes She Left Behind

"Watch me brave the kitchen once again!"

Saying this, I picked up the phone to film, only to find something furry at my feet.

The camera tilted down. Biscuit was lying by my feet, his eyelids drooping.

"Are you hungry?"

I handed him a sausage. He rested his mouth on it but just continued to lie heavily across my feet, unmoving.

"Good boy, Biscuit. I need to go to the kitchen to see Paigey. Get up."

He didn't move.

"What's wrong? Why are you being so clingy today?"

I stroked his dry, brittle fur.

"I know, Biscuit is getting old too~ Too lazy to move, right?"

"Alright, I'll stay with you a little longer today~"

I leaned back against the sofa. "I won't have the chance to be with you anymore, anyway."

Biscuit let out a low, soft whimper.

…

[Goodbye, World, 2023.4.17, 11:21 AM — Is a home without people still a home?]

When I woke up on the sofa, Paigey was crouching by my feet.

Hearing my voice, she looked up, tears streaming down her face.

"Claire... I've heard that dogs can sense when their owner is about to leave, so they go to the next life ahead of time to wait for them. Is that true?"

I almost dropped the camera.

I frantically reached out to touch Biscuit.

He wasn't breathing.

He had been lying by my feet. While I was too tired and drifted into sleep, he had quietly left me.

I forced a smile, though it looked worse than crying.

"What are you talking about? Biscuit was ten years old. He simply reached the end of his natural life."

When the camera turned back on, I was adding soil to a small mound on the hill behind the house.

My breathing was shallow and rapid, and my face was pale. Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I pointed toward the house.

"Just walk straight this way and you're home. Don't go the wrong way. If you walk toward Adrian..."

I abruptly stopped.

I smiled and pulled my hand back.

"Actually, don't go back there. It'll be empty soon anyway."

"Wait for me to come down, and you, me, Mom, and Dad will start a new home down there."

Sobbing accompanied the shaking camera. I looked up and smilingly pointed behind the lens.

"What are you doing? You can't even hold the camera steady."

Paigey cried even louder.

"Look who's talking! What are you saying?!"

I laughed aloud and waved her over.

"Look at you. Come on, let's go home and eat the food you made~"

"Claire Whitman! If you keep acting like this, I'm going to ignore you!"

I giggled, walked over, and slung my arm around her shoulders.

"Don't worry, your big sis Claire is invincible!"

"A little bit of cancer? Easy peasy!"

"Hahahahahahahahaha!"

…

[Goodbye, World, 2023.4.18, 8:27 AM — Sometimes I forget I'm a sick patient]

"Claire! Claire, open the door!"

Paigey was frantically pounding on the door.

The camera was propped off to the side. Paigey hadn't even had time to adjust the angle, so only her lower half was visible in the frame.

Inside the room, I was screaming and crying hoarsely.

"Get out! I told you to get out! Go away!!"

This was immediately followed by the sound of violent retching.

Paigey was on the verge of tears.

"Claire, if you keep this up, I'm breaking the door down! What exactly happened?! Let me see you!"

"Get out! Leave me alone!"

My heart-wrenching screams pierced through the screen.

Paige Henderson slammed herself against the door, and the old wood gave way with a crash.

Inside the room, I was kneeling beside the trash can. Strands of hair were stuck to my face with vomit. I looked utterly miserable.

There was absolutely no trace of the girl who was laughing and singing just yesterday.

I looked up in despair, my eyes completely bloodshot.

"Paigey..."

"Claire."

She dropped to her knees and, ignoring the filth covering me, pulled me into a tight embrace.

With trembling hands, I hugged her back. Resting my chin on her shoulder, my tears soaked through her shirt.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you...

"But... I always wake up in a daze, thinking I'm still the normal Claire...

"And then I stare at the ceiling for a long time, and realize that I'm sick...

"I'm sick... I'm sick, Paigey..."

I broke down, unable to speak through my sobs.

Paige hugged me even tighter.

"Yeah, it's okay. It's okay, Claire. You can get through this, you can...

"Because you're...

"You're Claire Whitman..."