The Summer I Stopped Sacrificing Myself For The Others

Rocco was visibly relieved. "I knew you were always so considerate, Allison. You would never let your best friend go home alone after a prenatal checkup, would you? I'll cook all your favorites when I get off work today, okay?"

With that, he hurried after her.

I took a cab home. The moment I pushed open the front door, I got a message from Kathryn. "Allison, I was planning to wait until my pregnancy was stable before telling you, but I didn't expect you'd find out early! Now we can talk about pregnancy tips and parenting stuff together!

Following that message was a collage of nine pictures.

Each photo showed a different baby product or prenatal supplement.

Then another message came in. "My boyfriend can't be by my side all the time, but he hasn't skipped a single thing to prepare ourselves for the baby. What about Rocco? Has he gotten you anything?"

My gaze fell on the inconspicuous baby bottle tucked in the corner of the image.

I had the exact same one, carefully preserved in a glass case inside the cabinet.

I had found it in Rocco's car a month ago.

I thought it was strange and asked him why there was something like that in his car.

He said he'd won it in a raffle.

And that was the time when he started throwing up for no reason.

Something clicked in my mind, and I bought a pregnancy test.

The result came back positive.

It told me that I was pregnant.

His sudden nausea, a baby bottle won in a raffle, a positive pregnancy test—Everything made me feel like it was destined.

I kept that bottle as a good omen for our baby's arrival, putting it away with care.

But now even I wanted to laugh at myself for how naive I'd been.

That bottle must have been something Rocco bought for his and Kathryn's baby. He just hadn't hidden it well enough, and I'd stumbled upon it.

I didn't reply to her. Instead, I opened her WhatsApp status.

The pinned status had a photo of two hands clasped together, both wearing diamond rings. No faces were shown.

I knew this brand of rings required every customer to purchase with their ID number, and each customer could only buy one ring for the person they loved in a lifetime.

The day Kathryn posted that WhatsApp status was the exact same day as my sixth anniversary of dating Rocco and our first wedding anniversary.

I still remembered how I'd coaxed him, saying I wanted a ring from that brand too.

He'd smiled with that indulgent look of his, but he bluntly refused. "Diamonds just depreciate. How about we get a vintage gold ring instead?"

I agreed readily.

But it turned out it wasn't because diamonds depreciated.

It was because he'd already used the once-in-a-lifetime chance to buy that ring for someone else.

When I didn't respond, Kathryn sent another message. "Allison, I felt like you were a little upset at the hospital today. Was it because my boyfriend and I still won't get married when I'm pregnant? I know you worry about me. Don't worry, he really treats me well."

The sheer naivety in her tone left me speechless.

I couldn't believe that even at this point, she still hadn't noticed that I already knew something was off between Rocco and her.

But then again, thinking about it, I'd always been the one looking out for her, ever since we were kids.

She had practically grown up under my protection.

Back in school, her parents divorced and each started a new family.

Worried she would feel she didn't have love in her life, I begged my parents to take her in as their goddaughter.

After graduation, she made a mistake at work and got fired. She called me in tears.

Without a second thought, I brought her to my city that very night, rented an apartment for her, and even gave her the PIN to my bank card that my paycheck went to, telling her to spend the money however she needed.

To this day, she still didn't have a job. She lived off my paycheck.

Every now and then, when I brought it up, she'd beam at me. "My job is to provide you with emotional support and be by your side all the time! So tell me, isn't that worth every dollar?"

I thought about all the moments we'd shared growing up.

I had genuinely never once felt it wasn't worth it.

But now, for the first time, I truly felt it wasn't worth it, and I felt sorry for myself.

I called the landlord of Kathryn's apartment. "Hello, I'd like to terminate the lease. Today. ...Yes, I know it is not the end of the lease term yet, so I'll give up the security deposit. ...I need to end the lease today."