The Promise That Never Saw Daylight

I sank to the floor after Ryder rushed out. I stared at the date on the pregnancy test results and replayed that night in my mind.

Five weeks ago, he said he had border duty and might not be back until morning. I packed him a hot meal and told him to be careful.

I waited on the couch until 3:00 am. Only when his text came—"Arrived. All safe."—did I finally fall asleep.

He was with Isabelle that night at the infirmary for the artificial insemination. I'd been shut out from the start.

…

My phone rang. It was Lucas Pearce, my healer.

His voice was thick with concern. "Lyra, your latest test results don't look good. The toxin is spreading faster than we expected."

"I know."

I looked at the sunlight beyond the window. It felt a world away.

I could feel Silverblood slowly spreading through my veins every morning when I woke. Sometimes the pain jolted me awake at night, but I never let Ryder see it.

The truth was, I wished he'd notice me and care for me, even a little. My medical report was sitting right there on the dresser in our room, but he'd never even opened it.

He seemed far more concerned with another she-wolf's pregnancy.

Lucas was a good healer and one of the few friends I had left.

He said, "About that new experimental treatment—"

"It's no use, Lucas." I cut him off. My voice was steady. "Silverblood can't be cured. You told me that. Those experimental treatments would only prolong the pain."

There was silence on the line.

When he spoke again, his voice was gentle. "Would you… be willing to get out for a bit? Let Ryder take you somewhere to rest. A change of scenery might do you good."

"You mean a trip?"

"Yes. Haven't you always said you wanted to see the ocean? There's a quiet little town on the coast that's quite restful."

Then, I remembered. It was where Ryder and I had planned to spend our honeymoon.

There were deep-blue waters, an old stone church, and cobbled paths lined with flowers. We'd gone through the photos together, plotting the trips we'd take after the bonding ceremony.

All these years, I'd poured myself into Ryder's pack affairs and had never really seen the world. Now, with the ceremony off, I'd go to that town alone.

"I'll go on my own. When can I leave?" I asked.

"Whenever you're ready," Lucas said.

I checked the calendar on the wall. The date for the bonding ceremony was circled in red, 15 days out.

"In 15 days, then. I'll leave on the day of the ceremony."

"Lyra—"

"I've made up my mind, Lucas." I cut him off. "Ryder never truly valued our bond. The ceremony means nothing. I'm canceling it."

I hung up and stood before the mirror.

A pale she-wolf looked back. She was hollow-eyed. Silverblood was eating away at me, bit by bit. Ryder didn't even know I was dying. He didn't need to know. Not anymore.

I pulled out my suitcase and began to pack. There would be no more waiting, no more begging, no more scraping by under his cold indifference. I was leaving.

I would live for myself in the time I had left.

…

At dusk, I sat in the living room, waiting for Ryder to get back. He finally came in at 2:00 am, reeking of Isabelle's perfume.

He frowned as if my presence annoyed him. "You're still up?"

"I was waiting for you."

He shed his coat, saying offhand, "Isabelle's pregnancy symptoms were bad. I took her to the healer. This is going to happen a lot from now on. Get used to it."

I was supposed to get used to it?

I stood. "I understand. Ryder, there's something I need to tell you."

He checked his watch. "Tell me tomorrow. I'm tired."

"The ceremony—"

He cut me off. "Don't worry about the ceremony. I'll arrange everything. Just show up on time."

I watched his tired profile and thought of the date on the pregnancy test results.

Everything had been decided long ago. My voice had never mattered. I lingered in the wings of his life like a prop, quietly waiting for the moment I would be replaced.

"Fine. I understand," I said.

Ryder went upstairs without so much as a backward glance.

Alone in the living room, I stared at the date circled in red on the calendar. Every tie between Ryder and me would be severed for good in 15 days.

We'd never see each other again after that.