The Lover I Have Cultivated Since Childhood

4.

I sighed as I looked at the pink envelope in my hand.

It was the love letter I'd written to Charles.

I'd been working on it for so long that I'd almost forgotten when exactly I'd first fallen for him.

Maybe it was back in senior year when I suddenly came down with acute gastroenteritis, and Charles insisted on taking me to the hospital, missing the math competition in the process.

Or perhaps it was during the school sports meet when I had a stomach ache, and he rushed to carry me to the infirmary without a second thought.

Then again, it could have been just a few days ago when I tripped, and he caught me, looking so worried as he asked if I was okay.

Whatever the reason, I couldn't help but think, "What's the point of teasing if you're not going to marry me?"

I remembered asking him once, "Charles, why are you so nice to me?"

He seemed taken aback for a moment before casually responding, "Huh? I'm nice to you? It's nothing special. We've been friends for over a decade, after all."

I thought, "But can there really be pure friendship between opposite sexes?

In our case, it certainly doesn't seem like it.

How could it be when I'm in love with him?"

I shook my head in resignation, considering tearing up the letter.

But for some unknown reason, I didn't. Instead, I tucked it away in a more hidden, less noticeable spot.

.....

"Lillian, I'm over here!"

As soon as I reached the bar, Jennifer's voice rang out.

I looked up to see her in a white dress, looking like a fresh-faced daisy, waving at me.

I jogged over. "Why are you still waiting by the door?"

"I was worried you wouldn't find me inside," Jennifer said with a sheepish smile.

"Seriously? You could've just texted or called me. You've been standing out here for ages. Come on, let's get inside. I'm treating tonight."

"I forgot, and it wasn't that long anyway."

I laughed and headed inside with her.

Since we hadn't reserved a table, Jennifer and I found a spot at the bar.

As soon as we sat down, I ordered a round of drinks and started drinking heavily.

Jennifer was taken aback by my sudden shift.

"Hey, Lillian, what's going on with you?"

I gulped down a large sip of my drink and said, "I'm heartbroken."

Her confusion grew. "Heartbroken? Since when were you in a relationship?"

"Ugh, unrequited love still counts as love, doesn't it?"

"Unrequited love? Who are you in love with? I didn't know... Oh! Is it that guy, your childhood friend?"

I took another big swig, tears welling up, and nodded.

"He's seeing someone else now?"

I nodded again.

"Well, that's rough, but it's not the end of the world. You can always find someone else. Besides, he'll eventually break up with this person, and you might still have a chance!"

At her words, tears streamed down my face as I shook my head, taking another drink.

"There's no chance. He... he likes guys. Unless I change my sex, he'll never like me. Woe is me..."

Jennifer's expression shifted to one of shock and confusion. "Wait, the person you're into is... gay?"

I nodded, crying.

Her face softened with sympathy as she wrapped her arms around me. "Oh, Lillian, you've had it rough. Just drink up, let it all out!"

Without hesitation, I clung to Jennifer, drinking and sobbing into her shoulder.

As I drank more, my vision grew hazy.

Suddenly, I noticed a familiar face across the bar.

I squinted, and sure enough, it was Laird.

But he was seated next to a stunning woman with rather prominent boobs, almost pushing them into Laird's face.

I blinked, wondering if I was just seeing things through my drunken haze.