The Love I Couldn’t Have

Every time a new wound began to heal, the old ones would reopen. I had no choice but to wear long sleeves every day, hiding the scars that marred my skin.

Hannah yanked the hat off my head, messing up my hair.

"Who do you think you are, wearing a hat he gave you?"

I didn't dare fight back. I just stood there in a daze as she swung the hat at me again and again.

Samuel appeared at that moment.

I had thought he would at least step in to protect me, but instead, he gently rubbed Hannah's hand.

"Don't use so much force, you might hurt yourself."

Hannah grinned triumphantly and walked away hand in hand with Samuel.

I felt like a complete joke.

Samuel and I had known each other since we were little. We had grown up together, playing through every holiday and exchanging countless gifts over the years.

Hannah had only taken one of them. There were still plenty at home, so I didn't care that much.

I didn't expect Samuel to show up at my house the next day.

He didn't say a word. He just moved into my room with practiced ease, gathering up every gift he had given me and putting them into the bag he had brought. It was as if he were wiping away our shared past, erasing all trace that we had ever known each other.

When he was done, he told me to delete everything related to him from my phone.

I couldn't understand.

"Why do you want me to delete even the things on my phone?"

Samuel was silent for a moment, then he calmly replied, "Hannah gets jealous easily. I don't want her to misunderstand."

-

After that, Samuel disappeared from my life. However, Hannah kept showing up, always looking for trouble.

I pounded on the door, desperate to escape, only to have a bucket of mop water dumped over me.

Hannah pretended to be terrified and screamed, "Help! Isaac's gone crazy! He just walked into the girls' bathroom!"

Her cry caused a commotion in the bathroom, disrupting nearby classes so badly that no one could continue their lessons.

It didn't take long for the teachers to get involved.

Soaked and filthy, I slumped into the teacher's office, leaving muddy footprints across the floor and chair.

"Isaac, what's gotten into you lately? Students have reported that you've been bullying and harassing others on campus," the teacher, Winona Lester, said.

I couldn't believe she was saying such nonsense with a straight face.

Look at me. Did I even look like someone who would bully others? Anyone could just ruin my reputation like this and no one cared, huh?

Samuel was also called into the office to testify. I kept my head down, too embarrassed to let him see me like this.

He told me to leave. I didn't want to argue, so I just did as he said. Now the office was left with only Samuel and Hannah explaining the situation to the teacher.

Less than a class period later, an expulsion notice was issued—but it wasn't for me.

Samuel had been expelled? And even Hannah was about to face disciplinary action?

It was nothing like I expected. I couldn't believe it.

"Ms. Lester, are you serious? I'm not the one being expelled?"

"Who would wish for themselves to be expelled? Samuel is expelled, and this was the principal's decision," Winona said.

I was utterly confused. The notice for Samuel's expulsion had already been posted on the bulletin board, and I checked it repeatedly, and I couldn't deny it.

It was really him.

What was going on?

-

I never found out exactly what happened in the office that day, and I never saw Samuel again.

I didn't want to drown in heartbreak forever, so when someone confessed to me later, I quickly said yes.

I was afraid of becoming the topic of gossip among my classmates again, so I kept this relationship low-key. Apart from occasionally walking around with my boyfriend, Yuvan Warren, everything else stayed just like usual.

Even though I tried my best to stay under the radar, classmates still noticed.

"What's Isaac doing here?"

"Quick, let's move. What if he falls for us while we're standing here?"

"Did you hear? He's with Yuvan now."

"I can't believe it. Why would Yuvan do that?"

I realized all the criticism Yuvan was getting was because of me. He was normally well-liked at school, and I didn't want to be a burden, so I asked him to break up with me.