The Kingdom of Light

The blue lights were flashing all around me, shining a light on the otherwise darkened street. My boss had arrived shortly after the robbery. Luckily, some of the patrons had called the police, because after the blood-curdling scream I had let out, my body was all drained of energy.

I had been placed on some of the patio furniture we had outside, which was sitting out all year long, now groaning underneath my weight, and the fact that they had absorbed more rain and snow than they could manage. Everything in my head was spinning, everything I did right, everything that could have gone so terribly wrong.

I looked up at the sky. The starry night sky was looking right back at me. The darkness in that was completely different from the darkness I had felt earlier. That darkness was pure rage. But this? This kind of darkness was beautiful, it was peaceful, it was quiet. The stars kept taking turns, shining down on me while the moon was bright, almost like it was controlling the rest of them. The night sky was so easy, so straightforward. It had always had a calming effect on me, just like it did now.

The darkness up there contained everything the world down here didn't. There was a steadiness and an acceptance that you just didn't find on earth. Here was nothing but chaos, nothing but noise, and everything just smelled and felt like shit.

I sighed, sinking onto the bench. My elbows rested on my knees, my gaze locked on my boss, who was talking to two police officers. Of course, he was considered about getting back his money, and I could understand that, but he could have asked if I was okay, he could have just checked in.

Two more police officers came out of the pub along with a dog. It was supposed to catch the scent of the thieves, but it couldn't have been easy since there were so many different people in and out every single day. To me, it seemed so goddamn ridiculous to use resources on doing that, but what did I know?

"Are you okay?" A dark voice, covered in some sort of accent, sounded from behind me.

I turned around, but wasn't able to see much else besides the outline of his body, since the darkness seemed to surround him, shield him. I simply nodded at him, unable to make my tired and rundown body do anything else. For just a short while, it seemed like he looked at me, while I looked at his general direction, trying to figure out who the hell he was, but then he simply stepped back, disappearing into the darkness. That wasn't creepy at all.

"Are you able to make a statement?" The female officer came towards me, her pen already ready on her pad. I simply gave another nod. "Can you describe any of them?"

"No," I answered curtly. "I held my gaze down, making sure they weren't further agitated," I continued, making her nod approvingly at me-officially telling me that I did the right thing. "But they were wearing dark hoods, and the guy talking had a very dark voice."

She wrote everything I said down on her notepad, nodding while I was speaking. She looked worn, like she had already had a long night. Her hair was tight in a bun on the back of her head, which was probably a sign of her wanting to be taken seriously. She wanted to be recognized as someone who had the guts to do a man's job. It had to be difficult, of course gender equation was getting better and better, but for a female police officer, I wouldn't dare to think of how much crap she had to endure every time she clocked in for work.

When her brown eyes met mine, they shone with compassion, but also endurance and strength. "Do you have a way of getting home?"

"Yeah, my car is right back there. My fiancé is home, so I won't be alone," I explained, trying to give her a I'm okay smile, but it was forced, it was too fake, and she knew it.

"Good," she responded anyway, as she placed her hand on my knee and gave it a small squeeze. "Can I have your phone number, in case we need to speak with you again?"

After giving her my number, I said goodbye to my boss and gave him my keys. I knew I wouldn't be able to work behind the bar again, not after what happened tonight. I wouldn't be able to feel safe behind the bar anymore, I wouldn't be able to relax, and I would never be able to forget the sight of that gun pointed straight at me.

It seemed like he understood me completely, because he didn't ask any questions, and he let me go home without any fuss.

**

I turned off the car outside our apartment building. With a heavy sigh, I leaned back into the seat. That sigh contained so many emotions, feelings of powerlessness, feelings of tiredness, feelings of relief. I could feel the happiness starting to take over-my brain choosing to focus on the good things in my life, wanting to look on the bright side of life.

Lucas and I were going to Ireland in a few days, a place where I could put all of this crappiness behind me. I could use all of my energy on sucking in positivity, on drawing from the happiness of a sunny sky, of happy Irish people. We had agreed that we needed a small getaway before it got too warm, the kind of temperature where you could feel comfortable walking around, seeing all of the nature and culture Ireland had to offer. And I was especially excited to see their big Summer Fest, the one where they welcomed summer in a traditional Irish way.

The cool air started to seep into the car, but you could clearly feel the summer approaching quickly. And with the summer, my birthday also came. It was almost eerily quiet, too quiet. On payday, you could usually hear people partying, having fun, and getting rowdy, but you could hear nothing but the quietness of the night.

The slam of the cardoor was deafening.

I moved towards the door of the building, the bricks were a striking red color, and the building was three stories tall. The ones on the ground level had a bit of a garden as well, where all we had was a small balcony. I had tried to grow so many different things there, but it either got too much sun or not enough sun. I simply didn't have the green thumb.

The stairs felt unbearable as always. My legs felt like jello already, and now they had to be exposed to an absurd amount of steps. My right hand followed me on the banister, basically pulling me upwards. Sooner than I thought, I hit the third floor, and with only four attempts, my key hit the lock.

Noise came from inside the apartment, like someone was struggling or something. I opened up the door, and Lucas came tumbling out of the bedroom, only halfway dressed. "Hey, beautiful!" He seemed out of breath for some odd reason. "You're home early."

I threw my stuff on the ground right there in our hallway, before my arms lifted to envelope him in a hug. Everything I needed was his love, his kisses, his hugs, his tongue, and his...

"Hey, Luna!" My head turned to find Carol, who was sitting, barely covered by the comforter on my bed.

"Hey, Carol?" I could practically feel my head spinning, trying to keep up. Halloooo?! Wake up! "What are you guys doing?" My eyes went from Carol back to Lucas, who was also looking back and forth between us, but never meeting my eyes.

Like if lightning hit me, my body suddenly started moving. My hand hit his cheek with a humongous smack. I hurried further into the bedroom and quickly grabbed my suitcase, before I started shoving my clothes into it.

Carol shifted slightly on the bed. Carol. My best fucking friend since middle school. How long had she been fucking my fiancé? Honestly, no, I didn't want to know.

"Luna," Lucas started, as he stood in the doorway to our bedroom, still halfway naked.

As an answer to that, I simply took off my ring, throwing it at him with the single intent of hurting him. Tears started gathering in my eyes. I had to fucking hurry.

"It wasn't supposed to make you upset," he tried.

He didn't even have the decency to flinch when my gaze landed on him. I was fucking boiling with rage. "What the hell was I supposed to be then? Huh, Lucas?!" I threw my arms up, the feelings simply overflowing inside of me. "Should I be happy? Should I have asked if I could join, or if it was supposed to be just the two of you?" I pushed my shoulder into him as I walked past him to the bathroom. "You can have fucking everything, do what you want, I don't give a damn."

Inside the bathroom, I threw all of my toiletries into a bag. Basically just taking my toothbrush, my deodorant, and my other small things. I went into the bedroom again, where Carol was now dressed in a t-shirt and her minuscule thong. She was everything I wasn't. She was skinny, had long brown hair that waved down her back. She had a gigantic ass, one that all men just needed to have a piece of.

I shut my suitcase and dragged it across the floor. I turned towards Lucas. "The rest you're gonna send home to my mom," I said, while I could still keep the tears inside. "I don't wanna look at you anymore." My gaze turned to Carol once again, who looked not to even be affected by it. "And I definitely don't wanna look at you either."

The door slammed behind me again, and now I was in the hallway yet again. Where was I supposed to go? Going home to my mother would be admitting defeat; she would know she was right. But was there anywhere else to go?

What a shitty fucking life.