The Kindergarten Teacher Who Doesn’t Exist

I had just gotten home when a parent in my son’s class group chat erupted:

[Ms. Zinn, what kind of place are you running? Do you let just any random stray off the street become a teacher?]

[My daughter came home, grabbed two forks, and tried to jump off the balcony. She said it was Miss Never who told her to!]

The homeroom teacher panicked and denied it at once, insisting there was no such person as Miss Never at the kindergarten.

She even posted the official teaching schedule in the chat to prove it.

On the security footage, there was not a single trace of this so-called Miss Never.

However, later, my son whispered to me in secret,

“Mom, Miss Never is an old lady with a cat’s face.”

“She says only kids can see her.”

A cat-faced old woman?

Was that not from some horror movie?

I had never let my son watch anything like that. Then I remembered that he hated taking naps.

Could it be that one of the teachers made up this “cat-faced old lady” just to scare him into sleeping, and that was why he dreamed about this so-called Miss Never?

I immediately sent a private message to Ms. Zinn at that thought.

She apologized first, then wrote: [Mrs. Young, I am so sorry about all this, but I can promise you none of our teachers have ever mentioned anything about a cat-faced old lady.]

Now that was strange. Could it have been something the other kids said?

I looked at Justin with a serious face and asked,

“Sweetie, think carefully. Did you see this cat-faced Miss Never in a dream? Or was it another kid trying to scare you?”

Justin shot back, his voice steady and earnest. “Mom, I am not dumb. I know the difference between a dream and real life.”

“This afternoon, when Ms. Zinn put on a Doraemon cartoon for us, Miss Never sat right there with us. She even taught us how to make a Bamboo-copter.”

That made me pull up the class surveillance footage again. I watched it over and over. Aside from Ms. Zinn, there was no other adult in sight.

Meanwhile, the group chat had already exploded.

Alice’s mother, Mrs. Lane, complained: [Ms. Zinn, was it you who showed them that cartoon? My daughter only started talking nonsense after she watched it!]

[If your teachers did not tell her, how else would she know to grab two forks and pretend they were Bamboo-copters?]

Miss Zinn replied: [Mrs. Lane, this must be a misunderstanding. You have seen the footage too. Every child uses a spoon at lunch. We do not provide forks at all.]

Mrs. Lane added: [No forks for the kids, fine. But what about your teachers? Do they eat with spoons too? My daughter is screaming about jumping off the balcony right now, saying Miss Never is waving at her from the moon! My husband and I are barely holding her back. What do you expect us to do?!]

Miss Zinn sounded helpless: [I really do not know anything about Miss Never or a Bamboo-copter. Have any other parents heard their kids mention it?]

Mr. Will chimed in: [I asked my son. He said he never even heard of Miss Never, and he did not see any strangers this afternoon.]

Mrs. Smith wrote: [My daughter does not know anything either. Could the kids just be making it up?]

Mrs. Jones added: [Sounds to me like she has been frightened by something unholy. Where do you live? I can bring some holy water and drive the spirit away…]

In the end, Miss Zinn tried to calm everyone down: [How about this—Mrs. Lane, why don’t you and Mr. Lane come to the kindergarten tomorrow? We will investigate this thoroughly. Please just take good care of her tonight.]

Mrs. Lane replied: [Fine, but if I ever catch this Miss Never, I will rip her skin off myself!]

After that last message, the group finally went quiet.

My son, who had been silent the whole time, suddenly pointed at Alice’s picture in the chat and said, “Miss Never taught me to make Bamboo-copter too. But I do not have a rubber band. If I did, I could fly up to the moon as well!”

I cut him off at once. My voice was sharp with warning. “Justin! Fork bamboo-copters cannot fly. Next time if Miss Never tries to teach you something, you must not listen. You tell Mommy right away, got it?”

Only when I saw my son nod obediently did I finally let out a breath of relief.