The Day I Chose Myself

While He Flaunted His Love, I Let Go

The next morning, the first thing I saw when I checked my phone was a post that had already blown up.

"Love knows no distance. If two hearts want each other, nothing can stand in the way."

Attached was a photo of Shawn and Madison, smiling at the camera like they were the leads in some teen romance. He was holding a Blackridge University admission packet in the picture, while she showed off her acceptance letter to a junior college.

I hadn't agreed to take him with me.

So, where did his acceptance packet come from?

The comments underneath were full of gushing reactions from our mutual friends.

"Oh, my God! The couple I've been rooting for has finally made things official. I'm screaming!"

"This is seriously so romantic. Blackridge and junior college may be worlds apart, but love conquers all. Shawn is the ultimate boyfriend."

"Good. Evelyn finally got what she deserved. That scheming bitch is finally out of the picture. Our class lost a future Blackridge golden boy, and now, I need the universe to send me a winning lottery ticket to cope."

I paused for a second.

Then, I liked the post.

Shawn called near instantaneously.

"What are you trying to do now?" he demanded the moment I picked up. "Madison's emotionally fragile right now. I'm taking care of her. Don't you forget that she's helped you plenty before."

I replied softly, "I genuinely wish you and Madison the best."

He gave a short, disbelieving laugh.

"There's only one month left," he said. "Madison ended up like this because of me. I have a responsibility to take care of her. Evelyn, I need you to be mature about this. Stop making a scene."

The one month he meant was the time left before freshman move-in.

However, I had never agreed to bring him with me.

Still, I chose not to argue.

My silence appeared to catch him off guard. Then, it seemed that he had somehow convinced himself that I was still pliable because he said softly, "Evelyn, I'll make it right. I'll only stay with her this month. I will be forever yours after that."

I nearly burst out laughing.

I didn't bother explaining. I just hung up.

As days passed, Shawn and Madison became ubiquitous.

Shawn declared his love loudly and recklessly. It was as if he needed the entire world to witness it.

For their first post-graduation trip, he took Madison horseback riding across an endless green prairie. The two of them seemed to glow beneath the golden sunset light as they whispered love confessions to each other.

For their first couple's photo shoot, Madison draped herself over him in barely-there outfits, smiling as if she had already won.

They rode a Ferris wheel together, and he kissed her like they were filming the final scene of a romance movie when they got to the very top.

As if that weren't enough, he somehow felt that he needed to defend himself whenever he did something romantic with Madison. So, he would text me right after.

"Evelyn, I know you're not into traveling, so I bought you a camcorder. You can use it to record

our future together at Blackridge."

I replied with two words, "It's fine."

He called immediately, his voice turning sharp. "What? Do you have a problem with that? Madison and I are not like that. She's dealing with depression, and her doctor said she needs to get out more."

Then, he scoffed. "You're supposed to be the smart one. Can't you at least try to act generous?"

"I really don't care," I shot back. "You're overthinking it."

I hung up before he could say another word.

Honestly, I meant every word.

I genuinely didn't care.

There was a time when I used to bring him breakfast every day. I would pile on fruit, drinks, and whatever snacks he liked just to win him over.

I used to deliberately hold back on tests to keep our scores close enough that no one would rank us apart, just so I could sit near him in class.

He got stacks of love letters all the time. Every single one ended up in my hands because he always tossed them to me and told me to deal with them.

I grossly misunderstood his actions.

I had foolishly thought that it meant he liked me, too.

That was how my unrequited love had started. It had been a tiny yet innocently foolish bud. I was young, so I naively believed every word he said, especially the ones that claimed that we'd get into the same school and never be apart.

So, I didn't hesitate when Blackridge University's admissions team extended that offer to me. I wanted to bring him with me. I wanted to take him across that threshold into a world of privilege, prestige, and endless possibilities.

I never imagined it would end with my entire family destroyed.

So, I chose to stay out of his way.