The Broken Wolfless Luna

Rael's POV

I heard the door open but didn't turn around. I kept staring at the wall, hoping whoever it was would just go away and leave me alone.

"Rael."

Corvin's voice. Of course, it was him.

"Get out," I said quietly.

"Please. I just want to talk." he said.

"I said get out."

I heard him step closer and my body tensed like it was ready to fight. I hated that he still made me feel this way. After everything, after five years of being left behind. He could still make me react.

"The doctor said you didn't eat. You need to eat something."

"I'm fine."

"You are not fine. You collapsed yesterday, you were unconscious for more than a day. Please, just let me help you."

I finally turned around and immediately wished I hadn't. He looked tired and worried with dark circles under his eyes. His hair was messy like he'd been running his hands through it a lot. Part of me wanted to feel sorry for him, but a bigger part wanted to yell at him and ask where his concern had been five years ago when I was being hurt.

"You can't help me," I said, my voice flat and cold. "Nobody can, just leave."

"Rael, please."

"Leave, Corvin. Go back to your wife. Go back to Nyra."

His face twisted with pain when I said her name. I wanted him to hurt, j wanted him to feel even a little bit of what I'd felt.

He opened his mouth to say something but I turned away again. After a long moment, I heard him sigh and then footsteps as he walked out and softly closed the door behind him.

I was alone again.

I sat on the bed, wrapping my arms around myself, trying to calm down, but my heart was racing and my hands were shaking like I'd break. I needed to find something solid to hold onto before I fell apart.

Lyric. My wolf.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and reached inside, searching for that warm place in my chest where she always lived, the place where I could feel her and hear her voice and get strength from her when I needed it.

"Lyric," I whispered. "Please. I need you."

Nothing.

I tried harder, pushing past the walls I built to keep myself safe, and called her name over and over in my mind.

"Lyric, Lyric, please. Please come back. I need you."

Still nothing, just emptiness. A huge dark space where she used to be.

My chest felt hollow, like someone had scooped out everything important and left only a broken shell that looked like me but wasn't really me anymore, because the most important part was gone.

I remembered what it was like to have her with me, the constant company, never being truly alone because she was always there, ready to lend her strength when mine ran out. I remembered her voice telling me I was strong and brave and could do anything. I remembered how good it felt to shift and run through the forest with her in control.

All of that was gone now.

They took it from me. The monsters in that cell tortured me until Lyric couldn't take it and hid so deep inside that I couldn't reach her. And now I didn't even know if she was still there at all or if she was really gone forever.

The thought made my throat close up and my eyes burn with tears.

I had lost so much already. My freedom, my dignity, my safety. My trust in anyone or anything and I lost something else too. Something I could barely even think about because the pain was too much.

My hand moved to my stomach without me thinking and pressed on the flat, empty space.

My baby.

I'd been pregnant that night, I found out that morning and was so happy, so excited to tell Corvin. I planned a whole surprise for when he got back from his meeting. I was going to make his favorite meal, light candles, and tell him. I wanted to see his face light up with joy.

But he never came back in time.

Instead, I was attacked and dragged away and thrown into that cell. The pain started fast and sharp. Then the blood, so much blood. The feeling of something inside me dying and slipping away, and I couldn't stop it no matter how hard I tried.

I screamed for help but no one came. No one cared. They just laughed through the bars and said I deserved it and should stay quiet.

I lost my baby alone in that cell, in pain, and no one even tried to help me.

The tears came then, and I couldn't stop them. They poured down my face while my shoulders shook. I pressed my hand harder against my stomach like I could feel the baby that had been there, though I knew it was impossible.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to the baby who never got to be born. "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry."

I curled up on the bed, pulled my knees tight to my chest, and sobbed like I was breaking open with all the pain inside me, the grief, the rage, the loss. It all poured out uncontrollably.

Lyric should have been here. She should've helped me through this. We should have shared this pain like we always did, but she was gone. I was alone and didn't know how to survive this by myself.

"Please come back," I begged out loud, even though I knew she couldn't hear me. "Please, Lyric. I can't do this without you. I can't survive it alone. Please."

But there was no answer. Just the same awful silence that had been with me for years.

I cried until I had no more tears and then I just lay there empty, tired and broken. The room got darker as the sun went down.