The Bridge Not Taken: Choosing Myself Over You

I'm the disregarded bastard daughter of the Hayes Clan.

Abandoned in the back annex by the Principal Wife for a long sixteen years!

That fateful day, a group of governesses stormed in, knocking my dear brother unconscious and dragging him away.

I was utterly beside myself, screaming and pleading on my knees before the Principal Wife.

She pinched her nose as if I stank, cruelly stepping on my slender fingers.

"Just play nice and bear an heir for the queen, and I'll ensure your brother is listed as a rightful heir in the main lineage! Otherwise... his survival through this winter is on you!"

The agony was so sharp I could barely catch my breath; all I could do was nod in desperation.

Yes, my mother too never saw the end of that harsh winter.

This deep-seated hatred is all that sustains me...

***

My legitimate sister, the Queen, summoned me to the palace ostensibly as her companion but quickly showed her true colors behind closed doors.

"Get this straight, Jennifer— you're just a surrogate. Step out of line, and you'll wish you hadn't," she threatened with a venomous tone.

Facing her daunting presence, I meekly complied.

That night, Nanny Adams scrubbed me in the tub until my skin turned a painful red before she let me out.

Nanny Adams, a loyal servant to my sister, covers all her sinister deeds.

Post-scrubbing, I was left in a simple slip, hidden behind a screen adjacent to the royal bed.

As she left, Nanny Adams hissed a stern warning: no sounds, no marks—make sure the king suspects nothing.

Tucked away behind the screen, I watched moon shadows dance on the glass, wondering about my brother-in-law, the king.

Samuel Tully, although the eldest, was never King Robb's favored son. My sister had been smitten with him long before her coronation, giddy with joy on the day she was chosen for the palace, even tossing me and my brother a bone.

It baffled me, her desperation to ascend to queen yet requiring me to carry her child.

Such treason could doom us all to the gallows.

If not for my brother, I'd be tempted to take her and the entire household down to hell with me tonight!

I stretched out a hand towards the screen, but at that moment, the chamber door swung open.

The sound of steady footsteps and subdued chuckles filled the air; I quickly withdrew my hand, holding my breath.

"Your Majesty, shall I assist with your preparations?" my sister cooed sycophantically.

"Unnecessary—I'll manage," came the confident reply.

Her voice trailed off to the adjoining room as she commanded the servants to douse all candles and dismissed them, leaving only Nanny Adams at the door.

Approaching the screen, my sister pinched my arm and shoved me onto the bed, whispering fiercely, "Don't you dare mess this up!"

She glared at me menacingly before slipping away quietly.

When the king emerged, the room was awash in the soft flutter of drapes and the eerie glow of moonlight.

"The queen does surprise me tonight," he murmured as he approached.

I lowered my gaze, waiting.

He extended his arms naturally, and I helped him shed his belt, layer by layer, revealing his royal attire beneath.

Clad only in his undergarments, he drew me close, "What's with the silence tonight, love?"

Anxiety gripped me—my voice bore no resemblance to my sister's. Speaking out would surely blow my cover, but silence would raise suspicions.

Resolutely, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself up to meet his lips.

His body tensed in surprise, then relaxed as his breath heated, pressing me firmly onto the expansive bed.

He wasn't one to prolong the inevitable, drifting to sleep almost as soon as the deed was done.

I waited several tense moments to ensure he was deeply asleep before cautiously getting up to switch places with my sister.

The glare she shot me as she took over was filled with envy that the night could not hide.

I made my way unnoticed back to the side chamber prepared for me by my sister but found sleep elusive.

Nanny Adams arrived in the dead of night, likely having waited for the change of the night watch to avoid detection.

She produced a bowl of some dark, thick potion from her food box, making sure I drank it all before she left.

King Samuel didn't visit every night, but I was always alerted beforehand on the nights he would. Thus, I wasn't constantly on duty.

Though not nightly, my duties to serve my sister were daily.

Any slight displeasure on her part led to severe punishment.

She took care not to leave marks, but the palace had myriad ways to torment without a trace.

Needles, wood torture, waterboarding... each method more excruciating than the last.

After enduring a particularly brutal water torture, my sister clenched my jaw, "Pray you conceive with the king's seed on your first try, or you'll endure much worse."

She released me, and I collapsed, gasping and coughing up water, my chest aflame with burning pain.