The Baby Isn't Mine!

I suddenly got a call from the police, telling me I was involved in an abandoned baby case.

My best buddy was holding me up as we rushed to the scene when Shirley Dunn, the girl who had asked me for directions last week, suddenly pointed straight at me.

"That's her. I saw her this morning, holding her stomach, going into the restroom! Now the baby's been born, and her belly's flat!"

I was completely stunned.

Before I could react, she shoved the newborn straight into my arms.

"This is your own flesh and blood! How could you abandon him?"

The officer's expression was equally severe.

"Miss, I understand that becoming a mother at 20 can be scary, but abandoning a baby is a crime. If you didn't want to raise a child, you shouldn't have had one."

More and more college students gathered around, their stares stabbing into me like needles.

Cold sweat soaked my back.

My best friend suddenly burst out laughing.

"Congrats, man! You're a dad now!"

"Her friend is even congratulating her. That proves it. She's definitely the kid's mom!"

"But why did her friend say congrats on becoming a dad? Shouldn't it be congratulations on becoming a mom?"

The crowd buzzed with whispers.

Shirley Dunn looked at me and spoke in a shrill, cutting voice.

"That's because she's one of those girls who acts like a guy! She's always hanging around men, calling them bros, acting all buddy-buddy, even saying she's more manly than they are. So her friend saying congrats on becoming a dad totally makes sense."

I froze again, too shocked to even argue back.

Just then, the baby in my arms suddenly started wailing.

I panicked and awkwardly rocked him a couple of times. Somehow, the crying actually quieted down.

"See?" Shirley's voice trembled with excitement. "That's a mother's instinct! Girls like her love flirting with men. I thought she was still a woman deep down, soft by nature. I never expected her heart to be cruel enough to dump her baby!"

What kind of ridiculous nonsense was this?

Yes, I had long hair, fair skin, long legs, slim arms, and a gentle voice.

But I was absolutely, unquestionably, a real man, complete with all the equipment!

"This isn't my kid!" I clenched the edge of the blanket until my fingers turned white, trying desperately to explain. "There's no way I could've given birth to a baby!"

Shirley let out a cold laugh.

"You're still denying it at this point? If the baby isn't yours, then why are you so pale? Why do you need someone to support you when you walk? And most importantly…"

She paused on purpose, her gaze locking onto my gray sweatpants.

"Why is there blood on your pants?"

Everyone immediately looked at me. When they spotted the stain, they all chimed in.

"Yeah, how do you explain the blood on your pants? Don't tell me it's your period."

My face instantly went up in flames, and even the tips of my ears were burning red.

The truth was, I'd just had surgery for hemorrhoids. Before this, I had been howling in pain in bed. Then the police called, and somewhere on the way over, the stitches probably split, so there was blood.

But there was no way I could say that in front of all these people. As a handsome college guy, I had my pride, too.

When I fell silent, Shirley got even more worked up.

"You can't say it, right? Fine, I'll say it for you! You just gave birth this morning, and your body hasn't recovered yet. That blood is postpartum discharge. Stop arguing and just admit it. Take the baby home and rest!"

I was honestly begging at this point.

Could we at least get my gender straight before accusing me of abandoning a baby?

I clenched my teeth.

"Shirley, I don't know how this abandoned baby misunderstanding even started, but the blood on me is from the stitches that split after my hemorrhoid surgery. Besides, I'm not a wo…"